Texas to Ethiopia

Therapy - all those "adjustment" things that are STILL going on or that we've already conquered. :)

2012-02-01T10:22:00.001-06:00

When we brought our daughter home we were prepared to expect the absolute WORST ever. You know, all the training and reading that goes into topics like attachment, uncontrollable tempers, RAD, etc. etc. etc. We were very pleasantly surprised when our "adjustments" that needed to be done were relatively small and felt like going into it expecting the worst really helped us be ready. When we first arrived home our largest issue was sleep, because the nannies would rock her past midnight to keep her quiet and not to wake all of her fellow toddlers in the same room. Sleep can be a huge issue for adoptees so trying to break her of this was probably a little traumatic to her little self. After about a week we had her falling asleep on her own, in her own bed, at a reasonable time every night.

The other "issue" we dealt with has been sporadic, and is food. Oh, she likes food, but she just decides sometimes that she doesn't want to eat it. In the orphanage they told us they could not get her to sit still long enough for meals and she was constantly distracted and getting up (she is really a ball full of energy). But when we got home, we found off and on for the past year that she would use food to control us. That's right, to control us. You see, she would eat fine when she wanted to, but if she was even a bit ticked at us for anything (maybe I told her "no. we don't throw spoons." or something ridiculous like that), she would just refuse to eat. Or if she did eat, she would chipmunk it all in her mouth and leave it there for hours, refusing to swallow it. In the beginning this really got our blood boiling and she knew it. We wanted for her tiny little body to grow, and were shoving nutrients and calories at her, but if she wouldn't swallow it it didn't matter what we did. This trickled down to only a dinner-time thing....she would eat great at breakfast and lunch, but as soon as we sat down for dinner she would decide to be a toot and not eat. We tried various things like leaving her in her chair for a long time until she ate at least something, turning her chair around so she wouldn't be distracted until she ate something (which actually worked - I think because she couldn't make eye contact with us and think about making us mad), or just getting her up and not letting her even have a chance to finish the dinner at all. We learned to just ignore this behavior as it only happens sporadically now (maybe once a week) and just turn her chair around. She has spent plenty of time going places after meals with her mouth full of food. Yes, it's disgusting. Now that she is a little bit older we can reason and say "You can do ____ after you swallow your food." We were thrilled in bible class one night when the teacher said "Well Lily it's time to sing, so you had better swallow your food." and she did it immediately. She's a smart little booger and now that we don't react to it anymore it doesn't seem to be worth her while to even try it on us.

When she came home her insides were also wrecked due to giardia. It took us nearly 6 months to rid her of this completely. Her little body had the worst runs any time she needed to have a #2. As those begin to solidify it made potty time extremely traumatic. It took us a few trips to the potty thinking she was trying to control us on that issue (screaming bloody murder if we took her near the bathroom) to realizing it was just because passing a stool hurt her. It took a few months to get past this. Screaming and body drenching sweats any time she had to have a bowel movement were the norm. And no, she wasn't constipated, it was just that her body was not used to that. I felt bad for her, but knew she would get used to it. We still have to have her on lactose free (whole!) milk because any milk or icecream will upset her stomach.

We changed churches almost a year ago to worship at a larger congregation with well established bible classes for the children. It's been great. There is even another family with 2 ET adoptees that we sit near during worship...what a blessing. It took a few weeks before she adjusted to this change in scenery and people. Then she took right to it and begged to go every day. Several weeks ago though she started screaming every time it was time to go to bible class. We disciplined her for fit throwing as we would have normally handled it, yet it didn't seem to curb the behavior. After a few weeks I realized that one of the teachers, who just happened to be a black woman, wore a head covering/bandana like the nannies in Lily's orphanage did. I started watching and noticed that as long as she wasn't there, she was fine, but the moment she came around Lily would start screaming in terror. She knew I would come back after every class was over, but her little mind just couldn't process what was going on. Somewhere inside she was very, very scared. I begin sitting in during her bible classes for a few times in a row and this seemed to help. Our teachers change every quarter so we're almost past this slump. I don't know if we'll encounter it again this year but at least if we do I'll be ready and know what is going on in her little head.

Lily has been home for a year and still has no concern about stranger danger. She's also been acting slightly aggressive at mother's day out and not minding in bible class. Lastly, if she gets sat down in a public area that she's fairly familiar with, she will just take off running and look back at us laughing, never minding us telling her to stop and come back. Wrap all of these together and after talking with several friends who's children have had RAD and other institutionalized-children symptoms, I decided to give a call to our childhood intervention specialists. I wanted to try to nip these behaviors in the bud, but the theories behind stopping them are all so diverse and contradictory that I didn't even know where to begin.

SO....a couple of weeks ago we had a nurse and infant behavioral health specialist out to our house. They sat and asked us a bajillion questions and evaluated Lily and several developmental tasks. The IBHS was from Kenya so I just fell in love with her instantly. She was just AMAZED at the INTELLIGENCE that our little girl has. Yes, sometimes institutionalized children develop faster in other areas than normal, due to survival modes. But she was just really, really smart. She just dropped her jaw and said "she is THREE! She has got to be THREE already!" We knew she was most likely a few months older than her suspected birthday (which is coming this July) so this did not surprise me. I mean, if a little girl can laugh and something and then see her daddy isn't laughing and reply "Oh. I guess that wasn't very funny." then they're a little more mature than most 2 year olds. HA!

SO anyway....they went away telling us that we're really doing great, but due to some social skills they were able to get her qualified for therapy. She is.....dun dun dun....IMPULSIVE. Yes, that was our diagnosis: IMPULSIVENESS. Ah, yes.

The IBHS is going to go to her school twice a month to watch her and give tips to the teachers on how to handle her form pushing/shoving/bossing other children and they also gave me some GREAT advice. Now first let me say, before all of this adoption stuff I was an extreme skeptic. I believe in things like spanking your children when the crime is worth that level of punishment. Yes, I said that. Yes, our social worker knows that. I believe in making my 8 year old writing sentences when he blatantly disobeys us. I believe in taking away my son's DS if he's not paying attention when we tell him to do his homework. We are firm, but loving, parents. Yes we utilize time out and time in but nothing, nothing was working. They were sending her to the "office" at her mother's day out for pushing other children (I have NEVER had a child do something like this before!!!) No matter what guidance, distraction, or punishment we were using, we were getting the same results. I was trying everything but none of it was working.

I was ready for any help to help nip this behavior in the bud ASAP.

So HERE WAS MY GREAT ADVICE from the IBHS for her impulsiveness (pushing/shoving/bossing/running off/blatantly disobeying/etc.).

1. Get her attention
2. Make her look me in the eyes
3. Have her ASK ME before she does ANYTHING

Yes, that means ask me before she picks up a toy.
Ask me before she goes to get her blanky.
Ask me before she runs off at church.
Ask me before she walks into her class.
Ask me before she goes to give a friend a hug.
Ask me before she pets the dog.
Ask to do ANYTHING.

And you know what? It's working. This past Sunday she asked to go see her friend Trene (I don't know if I even spelled that right), looking me in the eyes, and then I said "yes, you can go say hi but then come right back." and she DID IT. She didn't run off at all. She has been staying closer to us without running away. She has been slightly more polite with her siblings and class mates.

She has been SO polite, and SO obedient that I'm just thrilled to see how a few more weeks of this goes.

I'm just passing this along because I know there are other APs out there with "mild" behavioral issues that aren't typical of their other children. We're still learning, and I know other journeys will come as we parent our daughter, but this was some of the best advice I've gotten in a while. It's certainly making my life a little less stressful.

Oh and guess what. She's also now asking to go to the bathroom! WOOP
(been fighting that on-command pottying trying to get her to initiate it. we're only just now getting there even though she's been using a potty since she was in ET)

__**addendum**__
The point about making her ask for permission is to make her STOP, THINK and CONSIDER the action she is about to make. It's about slowing down the impulsiveness. That way she won't just act out instantly and spontaneously as much.

Yarn Braids (Genie Locs)

2012-01-14T21:14:00.000-06:00

A first ever for this momma...

We attempted yarn braids. I am content with the results, even though I need to learn how to adequately get the extension part closer to the scalp. I did NOT time myself, purposely, because I didn't want to think "Oh man, I'm on hour SEVEN?"...but we did it off and on all afternoon and into the evening.

She was SO happy with the results and LOVED swinging her hair around everywhere. She kept laughing and laughing.

Daddy think's it's...different, to put it nice.

We'll see what my black friends say to get the real verdict.

I hope it lasts at least a couple of weeks.

Small/Petite/Tiny/Etc. (We've GROWN!!!)

2011-12-29T09:41:00.002-06:00

So it's no secret Lily is tiny...or will be tiny...or that her Enat was tiny.

It's in her genetic makeup and the first year and a half (or two?) years she spent in ET also had an impact on her growth.

I'm not worried about her being tiny. I just want to make sure that she grows and develops the way her little body needs to.

When we brought her home, she had little legs so skinny that the width around her ankle was the same as the width around her tiny little thigh.

She cried if I even tried to tickle her, because there was no padding on that little body!

Add to that "food issues"when she came home, and it makes it more difficult to put weight on her. But lately she has been such a little porker! A few months after coming home we finally started seeing chub on her thighs and she had a round little bottom. We worked and worked for months to get her from 16 pounds to 20 pounds. It seemed like foreverrrrrrr.

Over the past 2 months she started getting cranky in the mornings and needing a morning nap.

I started crossing my fingers she was having her first ever growth spurt.

Then she started looking a little chubbier. I measured her and she was up to 32" (she was 27.5 when she came home).

Well, when I was at the Y yesterday I ran into the locker room to weigh her and she weighed....get this....23.5 lbs!!!!! That's HUGE compared to her being 20.1 in July. HUGE!!!!!!

I know there are other parents out there to tiny little Ethiopians, so here's a summary of the growth we've had:

(HOME) 9/9 16.9lb 27.5 in
9/30 17.4lb 28.8in
11/19 18.7lb
1/11 18.9lb 29.3in
7/21 20.1lb 31 in
11/11 31.5in
12/26 23.5lb 32in

Here's hoping this little spurt will last a while and good luck to all of the other parents out there with little ones who are celebrating for every ounce their children put on!

No Tears, no Tears over there (and an ET christmas)

2011-12-21T22:37:00.000-06:00

First year ever where there were NO tears shed during the annual photo with Santa.

But, then again, after we've seen him a couple of different times at other events, certain members of the family are a bit hesitant.

(Lily totally runs for him each and every time she catches site of him!)

So in the last week we had SIX christmas parties. The boyscout party, 4 different class parties (4 kids, duh!) and then our Ethiopian/ET Adoptive family community party. All 4 class parties were on the same day. The littles got out early and it ended with a visit with santa (see above), then we whipped on over to the biggie's school to go to their parties. I piled the littles on the Sit n' Stand stroller and we would go to one party for a bit, then haul down toward an alternate hallway to go to another party for a little bit. You would think that I had legs of steel, but I'm finding that age is fighting that one.

Our Et party had about 75 attendees and it was about half of adoptive families and half of local ET immigrants. A group of children from the Ethiopian Orthodox church came and sang for us...that was very special. The party was in an Ethiopian restaurant and we were able to visit with a variety of people as well as friends. SO excited that several of the Ethiopian-American adults have taken a special interest in the adoptees and helping them (and us) retain their culture. We missed the cooking class that was held a while back, but there is one soon that an Et salon owner will be doing on hair...how fun!

Hoping your Thanksgiving holiday is as full of blessings as ours is!!

2011-11-22T14:05:00.002-06:00

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-01T06:48:00.000-05:00

Great Skin Care Product

2011-10-07T09:27:00.001-05:00

A few months ago I finally found a skin care product that keeps Lily's skin looking great without getting ashy. I love it and it works well on my dry hands as well!

Baby Cakes Body Butter

http://babycakesbutter.blogspot.com/

And...it just so happens that the momma that makes it is another AP that brought home 3 children from ET last year.

And....she's now the mother of FIVE MORE ET kiddos!

4 bio kids + 3 Et sweeties + 5 Et siblings in Africa = TWELVE KIDS!!!
AHHHH!!! I'm so excited for them!!!!
All of the sales go to fundraise for their upcoming adoption. Hop on over and get some. It's all I use!!!

Guest blogger: A Hungry Child Can't Wait: Ask 5 for 5

2011-09-19T16:10:00.000-05:00

My first ever guest blogger!

------

Guest Blogger: Sarah Lenssen from #Ask5for5

Family photos by Mike Fiechtner Photography

Thank you Sharon @ TexasToEthiopia and nearly 150 other bloggers from around the world for allowing me to share a story with you today, during Social Media Week.

A hungry child in East Africa can't wait. Her hunger consumes her while we decide if we'll respond and save her life. In Somalia, children are stumbling along for days, even weeks, on dangerous roads and with empty stomachs in search of food and water. Their crops failed for the third year in a row. All their animals died. They lost everything. Thousands are dying along the road before they find help in refugee camps.

At my house, when my three children are hungry, they wait minutes for food, maybe an hour if dinner is approaching. Children affected by the food crisis in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia aren't so lucky. Did you know that the worst drought in 60 years is ravaging whole countries right now, as you read this? Famine, a term not used lightly, has been declared in Somalia. This is the world's first famine in 20 years.12.4 million people are in need of emergency assistance and over 29,000 children have died in the last three months alone. A child is dying every 5 minutes. It it estimated that 750,000 people could die before this famine is over. Take a moment and let that settle in.

The media plays a major role in disasters. They have the power to draw the attention of society to respond--or not. Unfortunately, this horrific disaster has become merely a footnote in most national media outlets. News of the U.S. national debt squabble and the latest celebrity's baby bump dominate headlines. That is why I am thrilled that nearly 150 bloggers from all over the world are joining together today to use the power of social media to make their own headlines; to share the urgent need of the almost forgotten with their blog readers. Humans have the capacity to care deeply for those who are suffering, but in a situation like this when the numbers are too huge to grasp and the people so far away, we often feel like the little we can do will be a drop in the ocean, and don't do anything at all.

When news of the famine first hit the news in late July, I selfishly avoided it. I didn't want to read about it or hear about it because I knew I would feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I wanted to protect myself. I knew I would need to do something if I knew what was really happening. You see, this food crisis is personal. I have a 4-year-old son and a 1 yr-old daughter who were adopted from Ethiopia and born in regions now affected by the drought. If my children still lived in their home villages, they would be two of the 12.4 million. My children: extremely hungry and malnourished? Gulp. I think any one of us would do anything we could for our hungry child. But would you do something for another mother's hungry child?

My friend and World Vision staffer, Jon Warren, was recently in Dadaab Refugee Camp in Kenya--the largest refugee camp in the world with over 400,000 people. He told me the story of Isnino Siyat, 22, a mother who walked for 10 days and nights with her husband, 1 yr-old-baby, Suleiman, and 4 yr.-old son Adan Hussein, fleeing the drought in Somalia. When she arrived at Dadaab, she built the family a shelter with borrowed materials while carrying her baby on her back. Even her dress is borrowed. As she sat in the shelter on her second night in camp she told Jon, "I left because of hunger. It is a very horrible drought which finished both our livestock and our farm." The family lost their 5 cows and 10 goats one by one over 3 months, as grazing lands dried up. "We don't have enough food now...our food is finished. I am really worried about the future of my children and myself if the situation continues."

Will you help a child like Baby Suleiman? Ask5for5 is a dream built upon the belief that you will.

That something I knew I would need to do became a campaign called #Ask5for5 to raise awareness and funds for famine and drought victims. The concept is simple, give $5 and ask five of your friends to give $5, and then they each ask five of their friends to give $5 and so on--in nine generations of 5x5x5...we could raise $2.4 Million! In one month, over 750 people have donated over $25,000! I set up a fundraiser at See Your Impact and 100% of the funds will go to World Vision, an organization that has been fighting hunger in the Horn of Africa for decades and will continue long after this famine has ended. Donations can multiply up to 5 times in impact by government grants to
help provide emergency food, clean water, agricultural support,
healthcare, and other vital assistance to children and families suffering in the Horn.

I need you to help me save lives. It's so so simple; here's what you need to do:

Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)
Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.
Share #Ask5for5 on Facebook and Twitter!

I'm looking for another 100 bloggers to share this post on their blogs throughout Social Media Week. Email me at ask5for5@gmail.com if you're interested in participating this week.

A hungry child doesn't wait. She doesn't wait for us to finish the other things on our to-do list, or get to it next month when we might have a little more money to give. She doesn't wait for us to decide if she's important enough to deserve a response. She will only wait as long as her weakened little body will hold on...please respond now and help save her life. Ask 5 for 5.

Thank you on behalf of all of those who will be helped--you are saving lives and changing history.

p.s. Please don't move on to the next website before you donate and email your friends right now. It only takes 5 minutes and just $5, and if you're life is busy like mine, you probably won't get back to it later. Let's not be a generation that ignores hundreds of thousands of starving people, instead let's leave a legacy of compassion. You have the opportunity to save a life today!

I cannot get him out of my mind

2011-09-16T14:15:00.000-05:00

Really aching for this little boy!!!! Please Lord give him a family soon. He has sat in an orphanage for over a year and has practically never known what a father is. No child should have to live like that. There are dozens and dozens of families waiting for a referral, but he and a few other children are sitting by the wayside yet to be "found" by their new family. It breaks my heart.

Ethiopian Festival

2011-09-04T16:02:00.001-05:00

Yesterday we attended the 10th Annual Ethiopian Festival in Plano. There were several vendor booths (lots of traditional clothing), Ethiopian food, a few other Adoptive Families, LOTS of Ethiopians, a bounce house and plenty of entertainment. We visited with 2 other Holt families, another family near us, and bought some beautiful jewelry from a family waiting for their referral.

For my parents, this was the first time they had experienced anything Ethiopian. We made them eat some wot and tibs with injera. Ok, didn't make them, they did willingly and enjoyed it. I did have to pack some Tums for dad though when they left that evening...wot always gives me heartburn.

There was another African man there (not Ethiopian) doing a drum presentation with the kids. They all got a kick out of it. Dad sat there with Lily and I just enjoyed looking, knowing if she hadn't come into our lives I would never have seen my dad pounding away on an African drum. The boys all LOVED it. L is a musician anyway, so he was great. C kept a steady beat, and O thought it was fun just to be loud.

We had to leave around 7, to get back home so that everyone would have a good night's rest for church the next morning. When we left the people at the door were very sad to see us go. "It's just starting! Don't you see?" - pointing at the schedule...to something that was scheduled to start 2 hours earlier. HA...gotta love Ethiopian time...it exists even here in the US! I'm pretty sure they were probably going to start that 6pm opening ceremony around 9pm.

One Year Home

2011-08-29T09:46:00.001-05:00

Do you see the BIG GIRL in this picture? It's hard to imagine that she has been home for exactly one year, today. I remember when my husband and I met her at the orphanage we both just stared at each other and knew exactly how well she would fit in with her brothers. Let me tell you, this girl thinks she runs the show. Being a bit older than she is paper-wise was also a huge blessing because it gave O-man a more equal playing partner. They are such best buddies.

This week she and O-man will start Mother's Day Out. What on earth am I going to do with myself? I was scared to death that she would be afraid, but when we visited the classrooms last week she got so excited and dove right into the toys.

While Lily tends to be extremely extroverted and friendly to everyone, today I had such a sweet mommy moment...I think she wasn't feeling 100%...slight runny nose, a little whiny (who am I kidding? a lot of bit whiny) and she didn't even want to go to her admiring teenage girl crowd at church, but wanted to stay snuggled up to mommy. She LOVES those girls. It made me feel so special that she just wanted me.

When I think about things that Lily has done and accomplished in the past year, off the top of my head, this is what I come up with:

I would never know if she cut teeth if I didn't look for it. She cut the first two 2-year molars on the first night we took custody of her. I have to watch for the other teeth as they come in, because she never even whines!
She's never been sick at ALL even though our family has been through strep throat about 2-3 times each, the usual colds, sniffles, etc. She has an immune system made of steel.
She may be more stubborn than I am (and my husband will say that's pretty stubborn!), but when you've been through everything she has you have to be stubborn.
She has used the potty ever since we took custody of her, but only when I put her on it. Over the past month she has started telling me verbally that she needs to pee and poo poo. Yeah!
She makes friends literally everywhere we go...the grocery store, the library, the mall....
She LOVES Bible class!
As much as I feed her, she is just going to be very petite like her Enat, and isn't going to get too big. She's only gained 4 pounds total since she's come home.
She LOVES to sing and dance, and was born with an internal sense of rhythm. My dad says this is nature vs. nurture...none of my boys have the dance moves!
She prefers her daddy to me, hands down.
She now speaks almost completely understandable English most of the time. When she came home she said "gnnn gnnn" all the time and that was about it.
The nanny didn't lie when she said she was fast. She still is.
She tests boundaries like any other toddler. She knows what buttons to push and can throw a fit like I've never seen, but with consistent discipline and guidance she fairly quickly (2 weeks or so) gets over that issue and learns what we expect at our house.
Her brothers are so special to her and Big L spoils her like crazy!
She loves accessories. A girl after my own heart. She will pile on as many necklaces as she can find, and walk around with her play cell phone and purse like a diva. *eye roll*
She is 100% Americanized!!!!!

As well as:

Adoption is amazing. It makes your family so much bigger. Birth family and other adoptive families that we traveled with...they are all part of our family.
It's true to not analyze anything until you've been home at least 6 months...and even then it's best to wait for a year!

Betasab (family) Day!!!

2011-08-20T09:50:00.000-05:00

Today marks ONE YEAR since we laid eyes on and held our beautiful daughter. I cannot believe how quickly it has gone by!!! Today is our Betasab (family) day.

Happy Betasab Day to all of the wonderful families that we traveled with. I know we ALL feel like it was NOT even a year ago since we made the trek to Ethiopia together and became parents again, or for the first time. I know all of our lives have been blessed with our family additions.

New Friends!

2011-08-19T11:48:00.000-05:00

My friend Heather is finally home with her 2 children. I was supposed to go with her to Et, but if you know anything about planning around embassy trips...well, ya know. She went the same week my husband and I had our anniversary trip to Cancun, so I didn't make it. ANYWAY. I'm just so excited that NOW we have 2 other kiddos at our church who are from Ethiopia!! My husband are really excited that our daughter will have the opportunity to be around them as she grows up.

They finally got to meet the other day and scope each other out. ;)
Lily already tried chasing L down the isle....

Let's wish them all luck as her new family starts their lives together!! This makes kiddos #3 and 4 for them, so I'm not the only crazy one with 4 kids.

A Year Ago....our plane took off.

2011-08-17T09:27:00.000-05:00

Today marks the anniversary of the life-changing 2 week trip that we took at this time last year.

I remember very vividly how anxious I was. First off, I hate flying...but I knew I wasn't going to get this far and not have God look after us on our travels (I had to really remember that as we were being driven on windy roads in the country, dodging donkeys.)

When our plane pulled out on the tarmac I just kept seeing how similar this "birth" was to when I had each of my other children. Unknowns, anxieties, excitement. We had waited a long time for this child to be "born" and I had to fight very very hard to keep my cool and not let more than a few tears escape as I watched out the window to see us rolling down the runway. As soon as the wheels were in the air it felt like I had reached the point of full blown labor with contractions that were telling me "no turning back, your baby is coming NOW!"

It would still be a few more days before we met our child, but this trip was just as much of a life-changer for me as was becoming a mother again. NEVER in my wildest dreams had I ever thought about going off and venturing to somewhere in Africa. Me? I'm a small-town Texas girl that enjoys family trips, but that National Geographic stuff was for the exciting adventurous types...I would never be able to venture off and explore somewhere by myself where I didn't at least know somebody, ya know? My idea of well-traveled was having my husband that had been all over Europe for work trips...which I already had.
I watched movies where characters dreamed of seeing the world...good for them! That just wasn't ever anything that was on my bucket list...yet, here I was....dying to get to Africa!

As soon as we touched down, the smells, sights and sounds came rushing at me from every direction. I felt like I had heightened awareness of everything just trying to soak in every single detail. It was very sad, but very beautiful all at the same time.

It's amazing how God pushes us toward certain things that he has planned for our lives, even as much as we think we have it planned out for ourself. Domestic adoption? That wasn't what he had us down for, even though we thought it was...and he guided us exactly and precisely to where we needed to be. And now that is where my heart is. I feel like half of my heart is left in Ethiopia, and it will always be my second home.

Anyone who has been to Ethiopia will tell you how much they love it, how much it is in their heart and how much it consumes them.

Making that trip changed my life. I like to hope and think it has made me a better Christian, Mother, Wife, and person in general.

I can't believe it's been a year.

I hope that one day we can go back again, to my other home.

Adoption Impressions - Your Responses!

2011-08-13T22:50:00.000-05:00

I recently asked others to submit quotes to me, to share what other people's initial reactions were when they were first told that you were adopting. I got some great feedback!! Thanks everyone! I think this is just a great example to NEW APs that they are not alone and that many, many, many people say the exact same thing when we begin to tell others that we are adopting a child. Sometimes some of us said or thought the same thing because we just didn't know any different.

So without further ado, here are:

Quotes: What others say when they learn that you're adopting

24 year old: "Have you tried, you know, stuff that married people do?"

Adoptive Parent: “We are adopting a little girl from Ethiopia! “

Friend: "Um...will she be black. I mean, is it like South Africa where some of them are white?"

From a black woman who found out our child was adopted:

“Please feed that baby some beans and cornbread for me.”

“Why do you want to adopt a kid? I'll just give you mine.”

Aunt: “Well, let’s just pray you get pregnant and then you won’t have to do this.”

When adopting an infant from China a family member asked if they had trouble weaning the baby from rice!??

Same family member – “Does the Baby (2 months old) understand English yet?”

"But you have such beautiful babies on your own."

After telling my father we were adopting two kids from Bulgaria, he said:

“why would you want to bring kids into the USA that have been exposed to communism?”
My initial answer: “Dad, you know communism is a more of a belief, not a disease.”
When this did not seem to have answered his question, I said:

“Don’t worry Dad, they were vaccinated for communism.”

Behind adoptive parent’s back back:

"I don't know why she wants more kids. She can't even handle the ones she's got."

I was having a conversation with a co-worker who had heard we were in the adoption process (mind you-this person works in the education field, so I like to think those "types" of people are open-minded).

Co-worker: "I heard you are trying to adopt a child."

Me: "Yes, we started the process a couple of months ago, and hope to have our child home within the next year and a half."

Co-worker: "Someone also said you are adopting from *Africa*"

Me: Yes, Ethiopia.

Co-worker: "So, will the child be black?!" (in incredulous tone)

Me: "Well, he/she probably won't look Asian."

“Are you *bleeping* crazy???” - Family when adopting #4, and yet to leak the news they are adopting #5.

“You're so good to be able to love a black baby.”

“I'd be too scared that the real parents will come back and take the baby away.”

“Adopted children have all sorts of problems.” (like non-adopted people don't?)

“Do you actually know any adopted kid that turned out...normal?!" – A Family Member

“Do you get to keep her?”

At the grocery store, a fellow shopper asks: "So do you do daycare?"

"There are easier ways to get a baby."

The most hurtful: Silence.

“Why would you want to bring THOSE kind of people into your home? You should go to China like some people from our church did and get a cute little girl.” - before one family’s first adoption and repeated for their other two.

"You need to have more faith!"

“Don't Adopt. The Birthmother will come back and Kill You!”

**I’ll try not to take too much offense for the following one, as it comes from a fellow RDH, but she does sound a bit blonde**

My wife's dental hygienist said this when hearing we were adoption from Ethiopia:
"You're adopting from Ethiopia? (extended, puzzled pause) You know he'll be black, right?"

I told our neighbor that we had begun the process to adopt a child from Ethiopia. She looked right at me and said, very seriously, "But, the child will still be white, right?"

When I told her that no, our child would not be white, she just stared at me with a look on her face that said "are you nuts?!"

"When will you send her back to be with her mother?"

"Oh don't give up!"

I can't tell you how many times we got "I just don't understand how you are going to take care of someone else's child."

AP: "No you see, my child is just that - MY CHILD"

"Are you gonna get one of them foreign kids?"

I've witnessed several AP's left out of conversations about pregnancy and early childhood with offhanded comments like "Well you wouldn't know, since you didn't actually have a baby."

AP: “We are adopting a little girl with cerebral palsy! “

Friend: "Well, will she be able to be trained? Will they be able to train her to do stuff she can't do now?"

AP, who normally answers in a gracious tone, but this response elicited: "She not a dog! No! We are not going to "TRAIN" her! We are going to LOVE her, and then get her the therapy she needs to do everything she has the potential to do!"

"You're so lucky that you're getting to adopt and avoid all of that difficult labor." -Oh yeah? I've birthed and adopted children, and they both hurt as bad as heck.

Upon sharing the exciting news that we had just received our referral, a member of our church group said "oh great, she's from Ethiopia. So she'll be a fast runner & she won't eat much!".

“You can never love an adopted child like you would love a biological child.”

“Don’t you think two is enough??”

"Are you sure you are ready for a baby?" I was 32 when she asked me and she was asking me this as her pregnant 16 year old niece walked by. Really?

Got this one right before we left to get our child!
“You do know that race is still a big factor in 2011.”

An acquaintance who just heard about our adoption process said:

"So, whats wrong with them?"
AP: "What wrong with who"
Aquaintance: "The kids, there must be something wrong with them if their parents don't want to keep them."

We shared the news with our small group, and we barely got any response at all. No "Congratulations," no nothing. Just blank stares.

Relative: “So the baby will be black?”

"Isn't adopting a kid kind of like taking a puppy away from it's mother too soon? You're going to have all kinds of problems with that kid"

“If you adopt a black boy don’t have any other child because he will molest the other children.”

“Don't Adopt. The baby would not be Our Blood!”

"“All Adoptive children hate their parents.”

"What do your other children think about you adopting?" - well, I normally don't ask their opinion on if I want to birth another child or not, so their opinion doesn't count.

At my daughter's baby shower, one person said, "I don't think it's fair that you got her when my nephew and his wife have been waiting and waiting and waiting to adopt." And she had no clue how long we had waited or about what we'd gone through before adopting.

“Are your other kids your real kids?” …no, they’re imaginary.

“All Adoptive children feel like outcasts all their lives.”

“Only Adopt your child from a ‘Good Girl’”.

When telling their (white) family that they were adopting a “black” child, the family asked “Will you tell the child one day if they were adopted?”

“Why would you WANT to do That??”

“Let's Not Talk about That! You will get Over that thought soon enough!”

“Don't do an Open Adoption you have to support the Whole family!”

We Said to my dad we're adopting from ET. He started smiling and there was silence... He said " continue " then there was more silence he then said "what's the punch line?"

Prior to our fertility issues, we knew we wanted to adopt, but also wanted bio-kids. When I told my MIL, she said, "You better not adopt, I want REAL grand-babies!" Then it turned out that adoption was our only option. And she ended up just getting the "fake version". (And I wouldn't have it any other way!)

“You really have to be worried about their mother coming after you.”

Our adoption was a surprise to everyone but family and close friends. When we took our daughter to church for the first time, one person told us, "I don't believe in going against what's obviously God's plan." Weird thing, she has one child and she'd adopted him.

“$20,000 to Adopt a child? Oh good grief just Make your Own!!”

“You Don't want one of THOSE children ! Nothing but heartache!"

“You know all of Those children have diseases!”

“The Birthmother can come back anytime and take your baby away!”

A single friend told me that really, she was as much my daughter's mother as I was... after all, I didn't give birth to her. And she loved her, too, just like me. The friendship went downhill from there.

“Do you ever hear from her real mom?"

“Will she be black?”

“I feel bad for her, she will be raised in a white family,that isn't very nice of you.”

“This isn't fair to do to the children already in your home!”

“You better learn to braid better.”

“Why?”

“You know _____ was adopted, and you saw how they turned out.”

“Are you going to know how to fix their hair?!”

“Are you going to tell her she's adopted?”

From MIL when we told her we were adopting: "Oh. I was hoping for REAL grandbabies, not adopted ones."

"I will be your surrogate! That way the baby will really be yours." – A Mother In Law

My mother-in-law's immediate response to "we're adopting from Ethiopia" was "a black baby?" Yikes!

Grandmother upon finding out our family was adopting:

“Ethiopia is in Russia, right?”

....”no, it's in Africa”

...."oh."

Tonight upon telling my grandmother:

"You're not gettin' a black one are you?"

Ultimate relaxation

2011-08-08T16:43:00.000-05:00

Wow I'm so excited to see all of the emails in my inbox about the crazy-weird-rude-funny first impressions that people got when they told others they were adopting. Keep them coming and keep telling others to send them to me!!!!

--

This weekend my husband and I flew to Cancun to celebrate (slightly early) our 10th anniversary.

We stayed at the Live Aqua resort. Can I just tell you, that I don't think I've ever been that relaxed in my entire life???

From the moment we stepped through the door, the entire place looked and felt like a spa. All we did was SUPER LAZY stuff like float in the pool, sit by the pool and read a book, ...

....order room-service, eat (at the restaurants and from the stocked fridge/snack bar in our room-- everything was all-inclusive!!!),

walked on the beach, ate dinner on the beach...

...it was. so. relaxing. I didn't think I could literally just spend even an entire day being lazy without getting bored by the evening, but I sure did manage to the entire time. My brain was so at peace!

And now, back to the 105 degree days...every day...where my kids can't even go outside to play at ALL because of the scorching weather that cooks little faces and feet dare they even step outside. Oh, caliente!

Calling ALL AP's: I need your BAD and CRAZY adoption reactions!!!

2011-08-03T11:20:00.003-05:00

I decided that I would do a post JUST with CRAZY responses that you got when you first told your family and friends that you were adopting. I will compile all of these into one post (while maintaining your complete anonymity - I promise!!) with them all in one place.

There are some ridiculous ones out there, and probably most people have at least one if not several more than that. For new APs, or families who are adopting their first child, these responses can be SO very discouraging, and even sometimes hateful. Other times they can be hilarious. By putting them all together, we can laugh and learn, and know you aren't the only ones that go through this huge "ripping off of the band-aid" as I like to call it.

So here is what I'm asking of you:

1) Send me an email at texastoethiopia@gmail.com by Friday, August 12th.

2) KISS ("Keep it simple, stupid!") - List your quotes one at a time, with spaces between. Please don't add a lot of detail/explanation unless completely necessary, because I'll have a lot of emails to go through.

3) Tell your adoptive friends!! Share this page on FB and on your blog.

4) Watch for my post to read them all, guilt free (no names-splurge away!!)

No SCREAMING at the Pool! (thank you Puddle Jumpers??)

2011-07-28T13:14:00.002-05:00

Well, as you know, it gets pretty hot here in Texas. Hot as in ohhhh about 102 every afternoon. That means we have to go cool down at the pool a LOT. And yes, I drag all 4 kids up to the pool on my own. It's either that or have them stuck inside all day long in the house that we bought when we thought we would only have 2 kids, and that can make for some crazy madness.

So the little 2 don a life preserver and the bigger 2 are on their own, in the "shallow" section of the pool (gets up to about 3 1/2 feet). #1 passed the swim test to go to the middle section of the pool (gets to about 4') but he's not a super good swimmer so he usually stays with us.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Basically though, with the life preservers on I STILL have to constantly be within arms reach of the 2 little ones.

...

The problem is....little L HATES HATES HATES HATES HATES HATES the pool. Like, big time.

She screams like I'm murdering her every time we go.

Every. time.

As if we don't get enough attention already.

And when I say scream like murder, it's as if she is possessed by the Devil type screaming.

Until yesterday. *cue angelic voices singing in the background*

Yesterday, we had *no* crying, *no* screaming, and just a plain ol' good time at the pool. I was one happy mother.

I'm not sure if the Puddle Jumpers take any credit for this or not, but upon advice from several friends I ordered these and got them last weekend. We went to the pool once with them and the 2 littles got used to them a bit. I could tell they they liked them some, because the last several minutes of that trip to the pool, someone stopped screaming.

Now, these "Puddle Jumpers" are only for 30-50 lbs, and we know that little L only weighs 20 lbs, but I was going to try anything. As long as I have her with me right there, she can do ok with it, I just have to adjust it fairly frequently. #3 fits it fine, but I still feel like it rides up and I would not be comfortable letting him in super deep water without him in an arms reach. However, he is much braver with it on and will "swim" back and forth across the shallow 1 1/2 feet of water like he owns the place now.

Anyway, yesterday here was the face that little L had:

ALL smiles. In fact, she and #3 jumped into the water over and over to me and even floated on their own without clinging to me, or little L screaming. She even laid to float on her back and put her head back in the water. I think hell might have frozen over that day.

The result was the least stressful trip to the pool that I've had in a bit, with as reasonably less attention than we've ever gotten (just the normal conspicuous family amount, rather than that + a screaming child) and 4 happy kiddos. That makes a happy mom! Thank you Puddle Jumpers!!!!!

R-E-U-N-I-O-N!

2011-07-21T17:11:00.002-05:00

We just got back from beutiful Gatlinburg, TN for our Ethiopia Travel Group Reunion!!! All but 3 of the families in our travel group made it to the reunion, and we were even able to stop and see one of those on our way over there. It was SO wonderful to see all of the beautiful families that we have grown to love so much. We had to split up between 2 cabins, but hopefully next year (yes, we're hoping to do this ANNUALLY) we'll be in one BIG cabin all together.

Now, let me just take a second to mention how awfully crazy our drive over there was. I mean, sometimes something happens on the road and gives you something to talk about...but they just KEPT happening. I can't even remember what order it happened in, because we started losing track after a while, but here's a recap:

Axle in the road
Truck in front of us loses their trailer, which crosses median into oncoming traffic, then back into median again.
Pine tree falls randomly from forest beside highway, and lands inches from the shoulder just as we approach it.
Lightening strikes a light pole next to the road and about shakes my sparkly little flip flops off of my feet.
Passed a flipped vehicle just as emergency crews arrived, and witnessed what surely looked like a fatality accident (will spare you the details, but I felt sicker than I ever have in my life.)

Once we arrived, the fun began! It literally felt like a week since we had seen everyone. Isn't that weird? I think something as "traumatic" as adoption really ingrains things into your brain and emotions and it just doesn't seem very far off from you ever...or at least yet it hasn't.

My special Et mommy "family":

And all of the gang that made it:

The kids were great sports taking pictures, but after a while they got a little tired of it!

We went hiking on the Laurel Falls trail in the beautiful Smoky Mountains. It was about 1 mile up and my wonderful husband pushed the DOUBLE stroller almost all the way up (I pushed it about 5 minutes, and my friend Joy aka Martha Stewart pushed it a bit too...since her son was sort of hitching a ride on it now and then. haha!)

We also visited WonderWorks. I was dumb and wore flip-flops and evidently some exhibits you have to have closed to shoes. Oops. SO hubby brought biggest man up on the lunar rope-walk while the rest of us stayed put and watched. By the time we got to the 3-D roller coaster (in the little capsule that flips over and spins around) I was so excited that I could do that, so I talked #1 into getting on with me. Um...yeah...we both about barfed. I hit the emergency stop button 11 seconds before it was over. It ruined me for the entire day so I had to give up my goal of going ZORBing with my friend. Oh well, I'm old, what can I say?

At Ober Gatlinburg big man was able to see a REAL bear walking through the park, from the chair lift, as it crossed a clearing into the woods. He didn't seem to care at all. :-P

We also brought our group of 24 to one of the awesome pancake houses and lucked out to (almost) all get to sit together really quickly. As if going out with our own family didn't get enough attention...you can only imagine how many people were staring at us THEN. Oh yes and we had matching shirts to help with that too!!

The last night a couple of us (and my big and middle man) went to see HP7.2. OH MAN WAS IT GOOD!!! I'm dying to go see it again. I'm just so glad they did justice for Snape. I could go on and on, but I'll refrain.

On the way back home I FINALLY got to meet my friend Mary Beth, who is with our agency. She and I have been best email buddies and hoped to travel together last year, but didn't get to. We stayed the night at their house and it was wonderful to finally get to meet her and her beautiful family.

It was awesome to see another one of our families from our travel group (somehow I neglected to picture the adults!), who's 2 boys are from the same village that Lily is. In fact, their family knew each other, so they are especially special to me.

Ok and I can't end this post without mentioning my friend L and her crew. She's been along with me on our entire adoption ride...thick and thin...since we started a few years ago with domestic adoption. She's heard me moan and grown, cry happy and sad, and our little girls were actually born right about the same time. I was so glad to finally have them all together too, so that our little blessings could play together. I've asked her a bajillion questions about adoption and she helped get this show on the road.

The drive was long, but oh so worth it.

Orphanage Shut-Down

2011-07-08T14:00:00.001-05:00

I am borrowing this content from another mother with our agency. I have so many thoughts all over the place....mostly about the fear of not getting updates to Lily's Enat. Like every huge "change" in IA, more facts come out later and things get worked out, if you will. But huge news like this just makes ripples go throughout the entire adoption community, especially those of us who have children directly affected. You know the sweet little boy "Adam" that I've talked about so much? He got taken off of the WC list because of this, and now he'll have to wait even longer for a family.

So, borrowed from Shonda, I mean, Captain Murdock, here's the huge bad news:

------

What Shuts Down an Orphanage?

We received the punch-in-the-gut news a couple of days ago that the license for three major orphanage's close to our heart has been revoked by the Ethiopian government ... sadly, the orphanage where our boys lived out a good deal of their little lives thus far is on that list. Lots of speculation as to WHY and ugly nasty (hopefully untrue) rumors of arrests of orphanage directors are flying wildly across the internet. The pretty picture story from the agencies involved is that it is because this particular set of orphanages didn't participate in enough humanitarian aid in the community (disclaimer: orphanages and agencies are separate, so this does not reflect on the amount of humanitarian aid a particular agency may or may not be participating in ... it's a tangled web). I'm not going to comment on my speculation, BUT I will say that I do not think it is because of substandard care of the children. I personally witnessed very loving and attentive care of the children.

This humanitarian alibi - maybe that's all it is? I hope and pray that's all it is. Unfortunately, the longer I traverse this crazy world the more clouded, fuzzy and downright LOST my rose colored glass become. My heart is heavy. If I could just find that big pile of sand and see if my head will still fit ...

What does this mean for us?
* No orphanage license means no local social workers which means any pictures or updates we send will not be taken to birth family (hopefully agency figures out a plan B very quickly)
* Our agency will not be able to facilitate another meeting between us and the boys' birth father when we travel...

------------------------------------

The birth parent visits give me a punch in the gut. Our agency said they will NO LONGER facilitate these, as the Mussie orphanage was the one that had been arranging them. I'm really eager to find out more of what happened, and hope these visits will be arranged later on through someone else. I also hope all of the children that have been waiting an extremely long time in the orphanage will be able to have a forever family soon.

Crazy summer fun

2011-07-07T19:04:00.000-05:00

I have meant to keep up so much better on this blog than I have! We've had such a busy summer. 3 boys on 3 different baseball/t-ball teams will do that to you I guess. Little man O likes to look at us every time he runs to 1st. It's so cute!

Also, I have pretty much started my own dental writing business and that's been keeping me really busy. So far it's been going very well. I've been a hygienist for 10 years now and somehow earlier this year I stumbled upon a peer review project on a freelance website. Since then I've written a few CE courses, a couple of e-books, done some content re-writing for dental products and product reviews. It took off with a boom so I'm trying to get all of the LLC stuff set up and such...I'm clueless. Basically, I'm busy!!

Other stuff keeping us busy: VBS, swim lessons, and just summer, period!

We're getting ready to have Lily's FIRST ever American birthday party...we'll have several people over but that same day we have SIX baseball games, so it's going to be very low-key-let-the-kids-entertain-themselves sort of thing, with cake.

Here are some snapshots from the 4th:

It was H.O.T. at that parade!! We were just drenched in sweat even sitting there. Phew!

And fireworks...don't forget the fireworks...they scared Lily TO DEATH. As soon as the first one went off with a boom, she screamed and hung to me for dear life. If I even as much as adjusted her or acted like I was going to let go, she freaked. Poor baby. I clapped and said "yeah! pretty!" and I think she finally got the hint she was supposed to like them, but did not want momma to let her go for anything.

Little girl has had a hard past few weeks. It seems like we are now over the slump, thankfully. We've had a lot of testing and boundary pushing lately. It's completely normal, but makes it extra hard on the entire family when we go through these phases. I hope to do another "adoption issues" post sooner or later and cover that a bit, now that I'm in a better frame of mind. ;)

2011-06-28T11:23:00.000-05:00

Getting my little immigrant's passport photo re-taken for our COC. Just 10 months ago she stepped foot on US soil!

Catching up - first trip to the beach

2011-06-19T13:59:00.000-05:00

Over Memorial Day weekend we brought the kids to Galveston. Our poor kids, last year was the first year they had ever been to the beach. Well we loved it so much we went again this year, and it was Lily's first time as well. She's flown over an ocean before, just never seen one. :)

It was SO windy!!!

At the beginning when we walked across the sand, Lily cried because she did not like it (do you remember her first incident with sand at the museum? was NOT good.) but before long she was having a blast.

We all had such a great time, other than me getting the sunburn of my life on the back of my shoulders...YEOWCH!

Look who is on the HoltInternational Webpage!

2011-06-10T14:25:00.002-05:00

My pal Joana just shot me an IM to tell me Lily was on the Holt webpage. I think I had to refresh it about 5 times before her photo came up. I just feel so honored for my baby to be representin'!

I was just thinking today how GOD really made this adoption happen. Did you know that after the tax credit, grants, fundraising, etc, we only had to come up with about $3,000 in the end? If anyone is considering adoption I hope you will read this and know that I DID NOT have $25k laying around to do this...God made it happen! What blessings so many of you have been to us and I hope others will be encouraged to trust in God too on their own adoption journey.

Got our refund!!!!

2011-06-10T07:19:00.000-05:00

We finally got our refund!!! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Plus about $66 in interest from the IRS, because they held it back after their own deadline. Oh yeah, we get to pay taxes on that next year. :)

I highly recommend working with TAS. We continued to get conflicting information from the IRS as recent as 3 days ago, but the TAS always followed up on everything for us and just took over. They were great.

Now, off to pay off those credit cards and the last of husband's student loan. WOOP!

Adam

2011-06-08T14:53:00.000-05:00

This is the little boy that I am in love with...Our agency is actively campaigning to find a matching family for him. Isn't he beautiful???

---

A Story for Adam

DOB: 2/27/2006, Africa

by Ashli Keyser, Managing Editor

A glimpse……

A woman and her husband wake up early on a Saturday. They brush their teeth, eat breakfast and do some last-minute packing. Once they are confident they have everything they need, they smile at one another in nervous anticipation, grabbing their plane tickets and suitcases. As they head toward the front door, they pass a bedroom and briefly glance inside. The room is filled with a small bed, books, footballs, clothes and toys. Today marks the beginning of the next chapter in this couple’s journey – a journey that will lead to filling their vacant room — and their lives —with happiness and love. The journey to their new son.

The journey to Adam began unexpectedly. The couple first fell in love with the cheerful and happy 5-year-old when they saw his picture and story on the Holt International blog. They had seen stories like his on the blog before, but something about this child spoke to them.

Maybe it was his photo – his glowing eyes, or his friendly grin. Maybe they fell in love with his personality traits as they read his story…..

“Adam loves to play football with his friends,” they read. “Very curious and outgoing, Adam loves trying new things. He likes pressing keys on the computer keyboard and dialing numbers on cell phones, often playfully imitating adults in the process.

The husband stopped reading for a moment and thought about playing football with Adam in the backyard. The wife dreamed about helping Adam with his homework and one day teaching him how to drive a car.

What may have sealed the deal for this couple, though, was when they read about Adam’s helpful and kind nature. “Adam can often be observed helping the other children put their shoes on or helping children find their toys.”

“This is our son!” The couple said, tears filling their eyes. “We are sure of it!” They knew it wouldn’t always be easy, but they also knew that they didn’t want to spend another moment without this child in their lives.

And in a care center half way around the world, Adam waited for his family to arrive. He had seen photos of them and had received their letters in the mail. He was excited to meet them and have a forever family at last.

Adam’s father died when he was very young, and his mother, who was disabled, was unable to provide the care he needed. He arrived into Holt’s care in July of 2010 and was later found to be a carrier of Hepatitis B and C. Although he did not have an active illness, he needed a family who was comfortable with his diagnosis, and who would love him forever.

And now, that family was on their way to him…….

When the couple arrived at Adam’s care center, after a long flight, they breathed a sigh of relief and stood in a room, waiting in anticipation. And then, the wait was over. There he was – their Adam. They embraced their son for the first time, and at that moment two stories — two lives — became one.

This family’s story was just beginning. Adam was home.

But this is just a story. Just a glimpse of what could be but, for Adam, hasn’t happened yet.

Right now, Adam, the beautiful boy to your left, continues to wait in a care center in Ethiopia. A family hasn’t come for him yet. He waits for one family to see his photo, read his story and to know without a doubt that he’s the one for them. He waits for a father to play football with, a mother to help him with his homework. He waits for a story of his own – a story that ends with him in the arms of a loving family.

Adam doesn’t have a family yet, but he hopes for one every day.

Will you be the family in Adam’s story?

Interested in adopting Adam, contact Erin Mower at erinm@holtinternational.org

This story can be found here:

http://holtinternational.org/blog/2011/06/a-story-for-adam/

Guessing Game

2011-06-07T23:11:00.000-05:00

I called the IRS today...they said it would be 6-8 weeks more before they released our refund $$ after it being "adjusted" 2 weeks ago. Hmm...then she checked "another screen" and told me it would be deposited to our bank on 6/20...2 weeks from now...hmm....

then she told me we are getting about $66 in interest from the IRS. how. exciting. (note tripping sarcasm)

---

THEN this evening, the Tax Advocacy lady called me (LOVE her!) and told me that the IRS is depositing all of our money on THIS FRIDAY.

She also noted our $66.56 or whatever it was in interest.

...and next year, we'll have to pay taxes on the interest that the IRS paid us for them holding our adoption credit back for so long. my eyes are rolllllllling out of my eye sockets!!!!

so - pop quiz: when do YOU think we'll get the $$ deposited??

Adoption Bug (trying to cancel it out)

2011-06-04T23:40:00.000-05:00

Heard of the "baby bug"? Well, I've had the ADOPTION bug!!! Ok there, I said it. Adoption is addictive. Yes, as insane as it has been around her with FOUR kiddos, I still have it in my heart that we have another child somewhere in Ethiopia. Hubby and I joke back and forth about whether we want another girl or a boy. I told him I could handle 3 more boys as easy as another girl (girls=drama). OH but he loves how much Lily loves on him and he wants another girl. There is a 5 year old little boy on Holt's WC list that I've been watching for months. I just pray he has a family soon. The fact is we just aren't ready right now for another one...so I am praying so hard that he has a family out there that will find him SOON. He has a special need, and that is that he has tested positive for both Hep B & C. Are his parents reading this?? He has the most absolutely adorable smile (and I'm a dental hygienist, so I know my smiles!!) Hep B can be very manageable, and as long as you are using universal precautions (which is what all of us health care professionals do!) then you do not need to worry about other family members contracting it. Anyway...he's just precious, and I have to stare at his picture all of the time. Husband says I stare at ALL of the WC, but I really don't....just this sweet little boy's. *sigh*

SO...I decided that I need to FULLY DISTRACT myself...I need something to really focus on and since we've been really tight waiting on our IRS refund (yes, we are still waiting on it) I thought it would be a great time to focus on a DEBT SNOWBALL. Lord willing, when our adoption credit finally comes through, we will be able to pay off the last of my husband's student loan, and both credit cards (the ones that had all of the broken household items charged to them when we had to use the rest of our money on adoption expenses). We could definitely cut back on several little things like eating out. etc, etc. Not to mention now I am working less, but we are having to drive more for other types of functions.

Do any of you have a favorite budget software that you like to use? If I think about sticking with a super tight budget half as often as I think about the adoption bug, we will be debt free in no time. HA! :-D Maybe, just maybe then I can scratch that itch...

9 months

2011-05-27T16:29:00.000-05:00

We've been home for about 9 months now. Crazy!!

Every time someone asks how old Lily is I tell them that legally she will turn 2 in July. However, it is increasingly evident that she's already more like 2 1/2. I'm really glad she is, because she and O-man make such great playmates. It isn't worth changing her birthday because school wise everything will be the same. Plus she's just so tiny anyway, having several extra months on her isn't hurting anything.

This week we started 3 separate baseball/tball teams. Yes I know we are insane.

We brought her home right after the oldest 2 started school. Everyone is now out and I'm at home with 4 kids every day of the week. Well except for when I do my part time dental hygienist gig.

Let's hope we all stay sane and don't destroy the house this summer!

IRS AND ADOPTIVE PARENTS timeline edit 6/1

2011-05-24T14:31:00.003-05:00

The IRS - this is an entire post 5 pages long all on it's own. In summary, about 90% of adoptive families are NOT getting their adoption tax credit even after submitting the initial return WITH the supporting documentation. Believe me I am the documentation queen. But because I am an idiot, I only sent the documentation that they said was required, like an adoption decree, copy of visa and birth certificates. We got our partial (small) refund, then they told us our return would be reviewed. Long story short, several duplicate letters later and 2 months down the road, we still do not have our refund. We needed to send in financial documentation of all adoption related expenses as well as as itemized expense list.

SO...I send in all of the financial documentation. I also contact the Taxpayer Advocacy Service...as you know, Texas has had it's share of storms lately...we were able to file financial hardship and request assistance with our tax return because our roof had been damaged and required $$$ to fix everything. This was prior to us filing on our insurance, so we did not know how much we were going to have to pay. Thank goodness, our insurance covered all of it, with a little left to spare (my dryer has been eating our clothes, so that may be where the rest of it goes.)

Well I get a call from TAS yesterday saying everything was in line (YEAH!!!) except the IRS needed our ADOPTION DECREE!!! Yes, the word "stupid" did come out of my mouth. Excuse me for believing they would actually keep up with the initial documents filed, because they did have my initial claim. I just assumed it was all in one place. Silly, silly, me. So I did fax over the initial documents as well as the letter that was included in the "additional" documents stating I had ALREADY sent those items and wouldn't re-send them with the "additional" documents (that letter and additional documents were faxed to the irs on 3/29) and she got it. Hopefully that means we will be getting our refund soon.

I don't know why the IRS hasn't been straight forward with what they want. Some families are having no problem at all, others are sending in the kitchen sink the first time and still getting reviewed. The problem was on the tax form that they never lined out exactly what documents they even wanted...they just said supporting documents "like" adoption decrees, visas, etc.

So here is our timeline:
2/15 Mailed Tax Return and supporting adoption related documents
3/21 Received TWO LETTERS: one dated 3/21 (the day we received it...how does that happen?) saying "YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO SEND US ANYTHING AT THIS TIME" and that we would be contacted within 45 days.the other one dated 3/18 including the DREADED AUDIT "PACKET" stating to send the SAME INFORMATION that we had already sent and/or financial related documents.
3/29 Faxed over financial summary sheet, receipts, invoices, etc adding up to $24,800 in adoption expenses.
4/11 received letterS from IRS saying that our information was received and they would contact us within 30 days.
4/18 spoke with IRS on phone, said we had not been assigned to an examiner and wouldn't be for at least another 30 days

Filed a systemic complaint with Systemic Advocacy Management System (SAMS)

4/20 Faxed form 911 to Taxpayer Advocacy Service asking for their assistance
5/something: spoke with TAS and said they would contact me by 5:25
4/26 TAS letter says will be resolved by 6/12
5/9 Letter from IRS saying we will receive a reply by 6/12
5/23 Spoke with TAS and said IRS had everything except our Adoption Decree. Faxed adoption decree, foreign original and translated, Visa, Domestic adoption decree, foreign and Texas birth certificates, etc.
5/24 IRS website still says "being reviewed"
6/1 Spoke with TAS and said IRS received and approved our paperwork and "adjusted" our account on 5/25, but we will not know when they plan to deposit the money in our account until probably next Tuesday...TAS said it will probably be deposited by 6/10.

If my husband weren't a government employee, I would probably be talking about how stupid our government is right now. BUT I won't. I just hope they figure all of this out by next year sometime!! Maybe they will be much more specific on what they want on future tax forms. Thankfully we are ok financially, but until we get this return we are still pretty strapped from month to month. We want to pay off all of that stuff that broke and got put on the credit card while we were paying for our adoption. In the end, I AM GRATEFUL that our government does speculate over who it is sending money out to...but really, adoptive parents?? Come on! :)

I'm really hoping we get our refund by the end of the week, but I won't hold my breath. Right now there are bigger things I need to worry about, so this one is just annoying but I won't lose any sleep over it!!! However it DOES deserve a post of it's own, because right now it is really affecting the adoptive community. I mean if somebody said they were giving YOU $13,000 and then said OH NO WAIT...you might be a little flustered, right? It really is just silly...

I'm so excited!!!

2011-05-19T09:41:00.000-05:00

Guess where I'm going?! Here are 2 clues:

8 months home

2011-05-02T13:53:00.000-05:00

It amazes me that we've been home for 8 months. My baby girl is finally about to pop out of her size 3 black patent dress shoes. Yeah!!!!!

She is officially wearing size 18 month clothes now. But the jeans fall off her bottom so I have to roll the waist up or...get this...use a tiny dog collar as a belt. Ha!

Her hair has grown so much. I tried to do cornrows for the first time the other day and it looked AWFUL!!!! Practice makes perfect I suppose.

I've made the mistake of not sticking to entirely organic hair products and it has shown. Normally I could put a lavender Shea butter conditioner as a leave in and comb it out and she would have beautiful spirals. Now we have some dizziness going on. The dry Texas weather hasn't helped. Can't wait to run by the health food store and get some more. That along with her Curlz products ought to do the trick.

Officially a Texan

2011-04-08T10:47:00.000-05:00

You're not officially a Texan until you've had your pictures taken in the bluebonnets (and these are outside of a Whataburger, which just validates the fact even more.)

Do you seriously realize how hard it is to get 4 kids to look at the camera? Not to mention ones that are sensitive to the sun in their eyes, and the sun is BEHIND them!!!

We put a bid in on a 5 bedroom house this week...got outbid. Woops!
My camera is still broke, but I got my new MacBook and have taken over my husband's camera with it. Woop!

One year ago

2011-03-31T06:00:00.010-05:00

One year ago today...we got "the call" that changed our lives. I remember it just like it was yesterday and I get goosebumps and a knot in my stomach even thinking about it. We had waited forever and ever and ever it seemed (I know others wait longer than 2 years that don't even already have children, but it *seemed* like forever.) I shook like a LEAF when they told me "an 8 month old little girl." I cried and cried and laughed and laughed. Oh she's HERE, finally!!!!

As soon as I got off the phone and called my husband we waited and waited, refreshed and refreshed, and finally the email came through and we saw the 3 TINIEST pictures I've ever seen in my entire life.

I cried and cried.

Oh my beautiful little Lily, how much you have grown! Your legs aren't skinny little bean poles anymore...I can't even wrap my hand around your chunky thigh. Praise God!

You run around the house telling your brothers "No running, Go to bed, I don't want this, no-no, no whining, I go outside, I go church"....Oh how much we love you, my sweet, sweet daughter.

I can't believe you've been home for 7 months. You've been in our hearts for so long...it is like you have been here forever.

(really not liking that my camera is broke right now!!!)

Audit

2011-03-29T08:39:00.000-05:00

We thought we were done with paperwork...then we found out we were one of the lucky adoptive families that is getting audited for the Adoption Tax Refund. FUN FUN FUN!!!!!! We received our partial refund, then got the BIG PACKET in the mail from the IRS. Ah yes, more fun paperwork to gather. It's still nothing compared to a dossier. ;)

My laptop died a week or two ago.

And my camera died.

Not good for blogger mommies!!! :) :)

Yesterday was Lily's 7 months home. Amazing!

Gamali

2011-03-15T16:27:00.000-05:00

This original painting was donated for our April 9th fundraiser to help bring the Johnson children home to America.

It is a $3,000 retail value. We are accepting pre-bids starting at $100.

SacredSelectionsDFW@gmail.com

Poem about an African Adoption

2011-03-08T20:18:00.000-06:00

This poem (I hear it's actually a song) was written by a friend of a family who recently adopted 2 children from Guinea, Africa. As far as this family knows, these are the FIRST and ONLY children adopted from there. I know my daughter WAS born loved, so that doesn't pertain to her, but the part about the steel wings really jabbed me in my heart!!!!

I’m Here

Born alone, born unloved

Knowing no one I could trust

Tiny tears I cried in fear

No one came, it seemed like years

No one came to wipe away my tears

I’m here...and I wait

You’re there....and you pray

I’ll grow in the warmth of your love

Someday

Across this ocean wide

On wings of steel you flew to my side

You came in search of me

Gave your love unselfishly

Took me as your own

A greater love

I’ve never known

You’re here...and I pray

You’ll take....me away

To grow in the warmth of your love

Today

Across this great sky

On wings of love You came to sacrifice

You came in search of me

Gave your son unselfishly

Took me as your own

A greater love

I’ll never know

I’m here....and I wait

You’re there....when I pray

I’ll grow in the warmth of your love

Everyday.

Born again, born in love

I know Him and I can trust

Any tear I cry in fear

He will come to wipe away my tears

He whispers in my ear

I’m here....when you pray

I’ll take....you away

You’ll rest in the arms of my love

Someday

6 months home

2011-03-01T12:19:00.000-06:00

Yesterday marked 6 months that Lily has been home!

And allllllllways full of drama!

In the last month she has begun to master her animal sounds. She knows what a cow, duck, cat, dog and snake say. The cows and dogs are her favorite. She makes those noises a lot. :)

And it's funny to think that just ONE year ago these intake photos were taken of her:

A few days ago I was thinking about how we had heard "no" for the last time exactly one year ago. We had pulled our profile for all domestic showings and while we were waiting on our sloooooow social worker we applied to the committee for a waiting child. We were told "no".... But I was at complete peace with that. Other people told us how unfair it was...but I knew OUR child was out there somewhere...and not too much longer we got the call for Lily. (and PS...to that little girls mother - who actually reads my blog, too! - I haven't forgotten to mail the Korean hairbow, even though you probably think I have. Ack!)

How on earth does time fly like that?

"Issues" : swallowing

2011-02-25T13:22:00.002-06:00

So I've realized I haven't posted much about adoption "issues" that kiddos (and families) 'deal with' when becoming a forever family. The fact of the matter is there are just SO many things that can be 'issues' and not every child or family is affected by them.

I remember asking families that came home *before* us how things were going, because I genuinely wanted to know what to expect. I just heard "Oh, you know. The normal stuff." I guess once we're home it seems normal, but I would just like to have a list or something.

One thing that is an 'issue' in our house is eating. Food can be a HUGE HUGE HUGE issue for adopted children. For instance, some older children may hoard food because they don't know when they'll ever get to eat again,...they knew what it was like to go hungry. Other children eat too much. Others, don't like or can't SWALLOW. Yes friends, swallowing. We have a problem with swallowing.

She will sit there...and stuff, stuff, stuff her face...and never swallow. We will get her up and she will walk around for an hour with food in her mouth.

I'm so glad I brought this up on our agency's ET mailing list, because we are NOT the only family having problems with this, and it is very, very normal.

This can be a physical problem or a behavioral (control) problem. Some kiddos have had food allergies where the food literally would not go down. Others (like us) have extremely ~~stubborn~~ strong willed children that like to use food as a control issue and will push our buttons with it.

We knew coming into this that food could be and often is a problem. When Lily and I had our first ever "food fight" (I was trying to make my tiny doll EAT something and she wouldn't, even though I knew she was hungry) I had to call my friend Sylvia, who is also a dietitian and just vent because I was about to lose it. In fact I did and Lil and I sort of had a battle of the wills and I tried to force feed her...and she made herself throw up because she was mad at me (another adoption thing...which we don't have anymore THANK GOD). I said there was no way I was ever going to do that ever again. I did not want to discipline her over eating food, and it has happened more than should. My friend recommended giving her a little bit of everything, with things that she would normally eat, as well as a dessert all on the same plate. She began eating the dessert first and then lead into the other food.

See...Lily likes to eat. Oh yeah, don't let her fool you. She looooooves some spicy Mexican food for sure. She looooooves chicken. But if she isn't in the right mood, which always happens at dinner time (we eat the same thing every day for breakfast and luch, but dinner is always something new and it looks different!) she might pretend she hates chicken. Yeah, I know. It's a big mystery. Ever since we've had her she won't eat any meat other than chicken (note previous mention to possible food allergies) but this is also a texture issue. Many kiddos have a sensory issue with the way some types of foods feel in their mouths.

Unfortunately, Lily was also not a good eater in the orphanage. The nannies told me she had 'poor priorities' and would often get up from the table and not eat. The nannies do what they can...they sit around a small table with 5 or so kids and go around shoveling food into mouths and pouring mango juice down them because they are trying so hard to care for each one. Lily will chug drinks like there is no tomorrow. But she still doesn't want to eat much.

That all being said, there are so many factors to consider when children have 'food issues' after adoption. Our best advice given was to just keep giving her small amounts of lots of different foods, and to ignore her and even get up and leave her to it if we all finish before her. Hopefully she'll grow out of it.

My hope is for her to just eventually gain more than 2 pounds, and I keep cramming the high calorie stuff down her as best as I can.

-------EDIT--------

I finish typing this and go wake her after her 1.5 hour nap...lay her back to change her diaper....low and behold, a mouth full of apple that she ate 3 hours earlier. *eye roll*

Travel Group Reunion

2011-02-17T16:45:00.000-06:00

I just LOVE our TRAVEL GROUP!!!! They are all totally awesome people and it was amazing to share our experience in Ethiopia with them as we all met our children for the first time.

Well, my pal Joy is planning our reunion this summer. I actually got to talk to her on the phone the other night (and I usually am *not* a phone kind of person) and it was so nice!!!! It's difficult to get people from all over the country together in one place (when your agency isn't planning it anyway!). We're hoping to rent a big cabin in Gatlinburg as it's sort of a central location. My family did that a couple of years ago and we all had a wonderful time.

SO...to those of you who have had reunions with YOUR travel group, what are some things you have done to make it fun and possibly easier to get everyone in one place? We hope to make this a yearly thing. Woop!

~Sharon

P.S. here are some fun pics from the park today!!!

and is this NOT the cutest thing you've ever seen???

AHHHHH I'm SO EXCITED!!!!

2011-02-15T10:05:00.000-06:00

I was SO excited Sunday night that I could hardly go to sleep. See, We've been working on a HUGE surprise for Sacred Selections Spring DFW Fundraiser!! Well, I finally got "the call" Sunday night that gave us the ok and I'm allowed to tell you what it is!!!

Our event will be helping raise funds for MIKE & HEATHER to bring their TWO children home from ETHIOPIA!!!!! EEEEE!!!!!!!!

Heather has been along this adoption road with me...since we were on the domestic path...and they've been in the process for about 2 years now and are waiting for their court date. IF Heather get's to travel after school lets out to bring them home, my hubby even said I can go with her. EEEEE!!!!!

Anyway. I'm really excited. :) :) :)

Sort of adoption related....

2011-02-08T13:01:00.001-06:00

I'm sure with my lack of posting these days everyone has been able to gather that the past month or so has been chaos. First of all, my youngest son was extremely sick for about 3 weeks. He's had the toughest time in this adoption journey and it was actually a blessing in disguise, as it allowed us some special bonding time with him. Lots of cuddling and babying! Sadly, he lost *all* potty training (he turned 3 in October) so I'm trying to crack down on that!! Oh man I hate potty training. Especially when stickers don't even excite the kid, ya know?

Secondly, we have been through a CRAZY Texas winter!!! Not only did we get our usual once a year snow, but it stuck on the ground for almost a week.

And then LAST week we have this HUGE ice storm come through and the schools were shut down for FOUR DAYS. And they think it's going to come through again!!? Our electricity went out last Tuesday evening so we camped out in the living room and had a fire in the fireplace.

Then they started Texas on rolling black-outs, but we *still* didn't have our power back. Almost 24 hours later we all decided to head out of town for a funeral (more on that in a minute) instead of just my husband going by himself. So we pack everybody up, run the dog by a friend's house, come back home to pick up the DVD player because know knows how long we'll be on those awful roads and what do we see? The electricity on. Of course! Isn't that how it always works out? :-P

Lily has taken to standing at the window and saying "NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" ('snow')

Thirdly, last week we attended the visitation and graveside service for my husband's cousin, Nathan. Nathan was just about to turn 25 and had entered into my husband's family through adoption. He was in remission from leukemia but passed away due to complications with his treatment. He was the only child. Now, I wasn't super close to him or anything, but I absolutely adore my husband's family, and having his aunt *totally get* adoption meant a lot to me. And when he was gone I pretty much bawled like a baby.

Fourthly, we drove to Arkansas. In the arctic blast. Yeah. Really, really, really slow.
(the picture is of the worst spot coming back home, through Oklahoma.)

Fifthly....we have our SIX MONTH POST PLACEMENT 'visit' (this one is a phone call) TONIGHT. How on EARTH did that happen?!??!!?!? And am I the only person that LIKES having post placement visits??!! I totally love our social worker and it's nice to just talk it all out with her about what's going on. She makes me feel normal. I wouldn't mind if they told me I had to do these every year.

Sixthly, my camera died. So I'm WAY behind on pictures. Oops. Most of mine lately are from my iphone via FB uploads. I kept saying I wouldn't buy a new camera until I got some photography training and bought a GOOD one...now Sharon, when do we have time for that?! I'll use the small one my husband got for Christmas last year. ;)

Seventhly, wait, that's not a word. Anyway, we're thinking about getting a bigger house. Thinking being the key word.

We've all sort of had the crud at my house, so my apologies in taking forever to mail out stuff to people that I was supposed to. And if you left a message about the Korean bows, will you please leave your email? Thanks!

Winner!

2011-01-31T07:00:00.000-06:00

Kelly Jo is our winner. Congratulations!!!!!! Let me know your email and I'll get your address :-D

Thanks to everybody else for participating. I do appreciate it. :) :)

CELEBRATION GIVEAWAY!!!!

2011-01-27T21:56:00.011-06:00

Guess what???!! I hit 100 FOLLOWERS today!! WOO HOO!! So just for kicks, and since I have just a COUPLE more of my Ethiopian hairbows laying around (One of which is reserved for you, Joanna and Maeve) I am going to give one way. The ones I have left are a little different from these.

P.S. I still have a TON of SOUTH KOREA hairbows that I would love to get to somebody!!!!!!

You will get one entry each for:

1)posting a comment. Lemme hear from you!

2)Posting a link on your blog

3)Each person that comes over and says you sent them here. :)

4)becoming a *new* follower!

I will do a drawing Sunday night and announce the winner on Monday morning :) :)

----

Tomorrow we will have been home for FIVE MONTHS!!!! I have tearfully put together a photo update for Lily's Enat and can't wait to get it to her...I'm waiting to hear back from a college student from Wolayta who said he would translate a small update for me.

L-M-N-O-P

2011-01-21T19:11:00.000-06:00

Dream come true...

2011-01-17T17:10:00.001-06:00

"I HAVE A DREAM.....that little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers." Martin Luther King, Jr August 28th, 1963 Lincoln Memorial, Washington, DC

Sharon

Sent from my iPhone

"I just can't afford to adopt"....(stolen from another adoptive mother.)

2011-01-15T12:38:00.001-06:00

I've mentioned this before, but adoption really increased my faith in what GOD is possible of. Like most people, we didn't have $25,000 just LAYING around to afford an adoption...but in one year it happened. And I have NO doubt in my mind that if we do this again that God will provide ALL over again. And I doubt I'll have $25,000 just laying around then either, IF we do it again....
(A lot of people use their adoption tax credit to start on their 2nd adoption...but Lord willing the creek don't rise, OUR tax return is going to pay off all of the stuff that broke while we DID pay of our our adoption: the a/c, the septic system and then the last of my husband's student loan! YEE HAW!!!)

Megan is another adoptive mother with our agency, and a very knowledgeable one at that. I had to steal this excellent write up that she did on AFFORDING an adoption:

"We have thought about it, but...

This is usually what I hear from people when they are talking about wanting to adopt a child.

9 times out of 10, the second part of the sentence usually is "it is just too expensive."

Private domestic adoption and international adoption are expensive (foster-adopt is not, so that's always an option). Each of our adoptions will end up costing a little over $22,000 (Ethiopia's cost,Uganda's cost)! Who has that kind of money laying around? Not many people these days. But here is the GREAT news...in the end, both of our adoptions will end up only costing us a few thousand out of pocket.

How?

The federal government now gives adoptive parents a tax CREDIT of up to $13,170 after the adoption is complete in most cases (many states also offer a tax credit or deduction). "But, I don't have $13,000 upfront", you say. No worries. There are great organizations (like the ABBA Fund and Lifesong) that offer no interest adoption loans. Many banks also offer no (or low) interest adoption loans. So you borrow $13,000, and then when you get your tax credit back, you pay it back! Easy peasy, and no money out of your pocket! I know people who have done the same thing with home equity loans. Or folks who have temporally borrowed from themselves out of their children's college funds, and then payed themselves back once they got the credit.

But there is still $9,000 that I don't have. No worries...

There are grants available from great organizations like Brittany's Hope, Show Hope ect. Just google it! There are great ones out there! Matching grants are a great way to get your community involved, and give folks a way to help! $3,000 down!

$6,000 to go...

With many waiting children, agencies will reduce the cost and fees. $2,000 down!

$4,000 to go...

Do you have junk laying around?!? How about your friends junk? Can you ask them if you can sell it? We raised over $1,000 doing a yard sale. Selling junk!

$3,000 to go...

Can you make something? Sell it on Etsy? Many families have done this and were able to raise the rest of the funds. I am not talented in that way. But, I can get a part-time job, or do a fundraiser at the local pizza place or fast food restaurant, I can wash cars, write letters, sell Pampered Chef ect (I need to jump on a few of these things)... so another $1,000 or so down!

***just as an aside....not everyone is called to adopt, but I believe EVERYONE (or almost everyone) can help an adoptive family! Everyone has $10, or some piece of junk, or some airline miles, or a prayer or encouraging word that they can offer.****

$2,000 to go...

Does your employer offer an adoption fund (ours do not, but MANY do, just ask). Can someone donate airline miles? Where can you save? Do you have a savings account? Can you cut out your daily latte, or gym membership, or any other "extras". You can! We did! And were able to save to pay for the rest!

Seems like a lot, right? It is, but your life will be changed! It is worth it!

I hate talking about finances, but if it encourages someone to take the adoption leap, I will step out of my comfort zone for a minute.

I know the "it's expensive" response may be an easy answer to cover-up the real reason why a family may not adopt, and that's fine too. But at least there is not a viable "it's expensive" reason anymore : )

"Is it ok if I buy her a _____?"

2011-01-11T13:17:00.004-06:00

There's ONE question we've gotten a lot, that I certainly didn't expect. When people have bought gifts for our daughter, they have asked permission first to see if it was ok to buy Lily an "African American","black" or "dark skinned" baby doll, or something with a person of that heritage on it (i.e. Princess and the Frog stuff...which, the movie I still haven't seen, btw.)

stop laughing.

Ok, I'm talking to myself. Sharon, stop laughing. It's obviously serious because a LOT of people have asked us this question!!! I told Jeremy, and he was like " WHAT?! They ASKED that?!" half laughing. ...yup!

No, really. Lots of people have asked. Really.

So my husband says, essentially, "Well if people are going to keep treating race like it's a TABOO ISSUE that nobody should ever talk about or pretend to acknowledge, then how on earth are we ever going to overcome it being an 'issue?'"

Because obviously, there's nothing wrong with buying my daughter a brown skinned baby doll. That's what SHE looks like...I'm not pretending that she's blonde haired and blue eyed....which...by the way...is exactly what the baby doll looked like that she picked out at Target the other day. And there's definitely nothing wrong with her having a baby doll that looks like that.

:-P

Do you have something to spare?

2011-01-05T14:21:00.001-06:00

The grant organization which helped bring our Lily home, is having another fundraiser in Texas this spring. This will be my 3rd fundraiser to assist with. It gets easier each time, but it's also about as high stress as planning a wedding! i.e. a venue, catering, receipts, etc.

But the HARDEST part...is coming up with items to auction off in the live and silent auctions. Each time we aim for about 60 items!!!!!!

SIXTY!!!!!!

egad! That's so many. Not to mention it seems like a million, when you're like me and HATE TO BEG FROM PEOPLE!!!

Well, I just got my first donated item yesterday!!

Sarah is donating 2 hours of her time from her freelance business - a $100 value!

Sarah K. McDonald

www.skmcdonaldinc.com

Sarah K. McDonald is a freelance writer and editor with expertise in the editorial, marketing and public relations industries. She proofs ads, corporate newsletters, telemarketing scripts and direct mail copy for agencies that represent a variety of businesses, from Fortune 500 companies to locally

1 down, 59 more to go.

Do YOU have something you could share to help bring orphans home to their forever family? No matter how big or how small, I and other families would appreciate it SO MUCH!!!!!!! In the past we've had everything from hand knitted baby booties, to autographed sports memorabilia.

Lemme know! If you have a business, it will also be advertised on the event site. :) :) :)

Not to mention, it's TAX DEDUCTIBLE!!

Do you Fro?

2010-12-30T21:20:00.000-06:00

My black friends tell me that fros are "nappy." Of course, as a white mother of an African child I don't want her looking nappy. HOWEVER, I think they are OH so STINKIN' CUTE!!!!

When we were in Ethiopia meeting Lily's Enat, she expressed much concern over her head having been shaved/cut in the orphanage. She actually ran off for a few minutes and came back with a picture of her (I'm assuming that our agency gave her upon relinquishment) and pointed to her hair, and at the picture we had...that was much shorter. She pulled out one of her own braids and pointed back and forth, reiterating the fact that she wanted us to grow her hair back out. I promised her I would (though at this time we had no translators, we still managed to have our own conversation in the corner of the room while the other families were still having translated meetings.)

So usually I keep Lil's hair very moisturized. I wash it once a week with a gentle shampoo and then mid-week I do a conditioning rinse (like washing my hair, but with conditioner instead of shampoo). I apply an organic conditioner into it 2-3 times a day, combing it out 1 or 2 times a day. When I do this, she keeps very tiny, shiny, tight little curls.

Well, being that we completed our EIGHT week treatment for scalp ringworm, I wanted to get a good look at her scalp again to see if there were any more spots. To do this I usually put her hair in the little "puffs" or plaits all over her head, because I can comb through and check each area. The last time I had done this was a few weeks ago, after we had finished week 6 of the treatment and had to do scalp cultures. Anywho....I leave her hair in those for 2-3 days. Her daddy and I both prefer her curls, but this is an alternative do for her.

OH and the good news was that her scalp looked great!

So after 3 days (today) I took them out (I use a seam ripper...comes in very handy for those tiny rubber bands!) because they were coming undone in a few spots and it was time for a mid-week conditioning rinse. I had actually only put some conditioner on it once since after the plaits were in.

And this is what it looks like when the bands come out and her hair has been combed through:
(snapped with my iphone, the camera was on the fritz)

Is that NOT CUTE?!?!?!?!

One of my black friends told me that plaits make their hair grow. I don't know if this is true or not (because you know, some white people say that when we trim our hair it makes it grow, and I don't believe that for one second) but it always sure looks like it when those come out, and it always looks longer than before.

I have so much to learn about curly hair. Boy is it ever pretty. I can tell it will take a very long time for it to grow where her moisturized curls will actually look long on her head though! Even now when I hold one of her moisturized little curls out, which normally looks like it's only 1/2" long from her scalp, it's a good 2 inches.

The Tale of an Ethiopian Girl and Santa's Cookies

2010-12-28T14:24:00.000-06:00

Hi, I'm Lily, ~~let's get ready to play~~ (wait, that's the Leap Frog toy...) This is my first Christmas in America! I'm cute and I have my Daddy wrapped around my pinkie finger.

Oh, look at those yummy cookies that someone left out, and right at my level at that! Well that sure was thoughtful of them.

Oh yes, these look delicious.

I think I'll have just a tinnnnnnnny little nibble. Or more if I care to.

What?

WHAT?

You said I can't have them?!?!?!

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! What a horrible thing to do to me!!!!! Don't you WANT me to gain weight?!?!?

4 Months Home!!!

2010-12-28T13:42:00.000-06:00

Can you believe it?!?!?

New words she says since last month: Owen, Wee-wee ("Lily"), no, cookie, eat, nose, eye, night night (I think she said that last month).

She's drinking MUCH more milk than she has been previously. This is great because she doesn't eat much, so I can give her whole (lactose free) milk, sometimes spiked with instant breakfast, or some Pediasure. Her thighs and bottom are definitely chunked now. It used to be one small width from ankle all the way up to her bottom!

Oh, she also tells me 90% of the time if she needs to "poo poo" on the potty. Gotta love this!!!!

Enjoying the Holidays

2010-12-14T22:20:00.000-06:00

We've been *SUPER* busy around these parts. We celebrated our first Thanksgiving as a family of 6, down at my parents farm.

Don't ask me why she's crying. She's the queen of turning tears on and off like a faucet if things don't go exactly her way.

Lily got to experience her first ever horse ride. She got a kick out of that.

She enjoyed being held by everyone. I especially love this picture of her on my grandpa....and I totally love what the pamphlet in his pocket says ("citizens rule book"), with an immigrant sitting on his lap!

We experienced Santa. Hers was not unlike that of her brother's first visits with him. i.e. loves him from afar, but does NOT want to be held by him.

Santa, take 2.

She got to see tinsel for the first time. Wasn't hip on wearing it like a wig, as her brothers suggested.

I bought a cute ornament for her!!! (at the etsy shop here) The 2nd ornament was a surprise and it was great as a hostess gift for the party mentioned below.

And LAST weekend we went to an Ethiopian Adoptive Families Christmas party...we got to see Lily's roommate again, and meet several other families (their son is 1 month older than Lily and twice the size!!) that I hadn't met before. The children were all so beautiful, and I just loved how all of the girls had that totally pencil curled hair bouncing all over their head.

And, while I'm catching up....I might as well go back to HALLOWEEN (man, am I bad or what?) Lily was a HIT. Everyone looked so stinkin' cute and she had a hay day being toted around town and trick or treating after church.

with the cousins:

Seriously...one day I will finish putting pictures in my travel blogs. Really. ...really.

Welcoming Home an old Friend!

2010-12-09T16:00:00.000-06:00

Last Saturday we went to the airport to welcome home an old roommate of Lily's! This sweet little girl was just a few cribs down from Lily in the same care center! In fact when we were in Ethiopia I made a point to check in on her for her momma. She is a bright eyed, curious, beautiful little girl. My husband asked "Is that the baby that had the big eyes?" ...even he remembered her. :) :)

We are so glad to have them home and I can't wait for our girls to grow up and be friends!!!

Just seeing Joanna get off of the plane made me tired all over again. I know her eyes must have felt blood shot, and her bum numb from the incredibly long journey. They were good sports and posed for lots of pictures.

Lily was excited to see her friend home!! I think her friend needed a nap, though. ;)

Lily is staring at the picture as I type, squealing and yelling "pee peeee!!!" ("pretty")

Ethiopian doll available at Target.com

2010-12-01T10:41:00.000-06:00

I ordered this doll from Target.com today for Lily. I'm not sure it will arrive in time for Christmas or not, but that's ok! I saw it and KNEW we had to get it for her! Plus a portion of the cost goes toward World Vision's work in the country which the themed doll is from.

See them HERE

What if you could change the world just by buying a doll? You can, with Hearts For Hearts Girls dolls! Each doll is a girl that wants to make a difference in her life and community. There are six beautiful dolls to choose from: Dell (USA), Lilian (Belarus), Rahel (Ethiopia), Nahji (India), Tipi (Laos), and Consuelo (Mexico).When you buy a Hearts For Hearts Girls doll, a portion of the purchase price is donated to children's causes in those countries through World Vision, a global humanitarian organization. Each dolls stands 14" high and comes with a hair comb, a girl-sized heart charm bracelet, and a mini storybook about her life. Quality details such as ethnic jewelry, cultural yet current outfits, and fully rooted hair make these dolls that any girl will treasure. In addition, Hearts For Hearts Girls also offers a fun, child-safe website full of stories, games, and activities. Change the world one heart at a time, with Hearts For Hearts Girls!

Hair Tip for Curly Hair

2010-11-29T18:54:00.000-06:00

My daughter has VERY tiny, tight curls. I read an article the other day which was VERY helpful and I tried the techniques in it (modified, of course, for her 2 inch hair) and it looks ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!! I love her tight and pretty little curls. I know this will look beautiful when it grows even longer.

http://www.tightlycurly.com/technique/tipsforlittleones/

Pictures!

2010-11-06T23:05:00.001-05:00

Slowly but surely I'm getting pictures added into my travel journal posts. On the left-hand side you can see the list of travel journal entries and the first 2 now have corresponding photos.

Click and enjoy. ;)

More to come!!!

Travel Journal Part I - now with pictures!

Travel Journal Part II - now with pictures!

Travel Journal Part III

Travel Journal Part IV

Travel Journal Part V

Travel Journal Part VI

Travel Journal Part VII

Travel Journal Part VIII - coming...sometime. :-P

The Fistula Hospital

2010-10-24T20:27:00.004-05:00

While we were in Addis Ababa, our hotel was around the corner from the Fistula Hospital. My friend Joy was SO excited about this. I on the other hand, had never heard about it before. But Joy filled us all in on the documentary, A Walk To Beautiful.

The hospital is there to help women, who at very young ages and small sizes, are not able to have their child pass through the birth canal while they are in labor. They labor for days, giving birth to a still born child.

Then to make matters worse, they have a hole tore in their bladder, near the birth canal. They become incontinent.

And then their life changes, because they are unclean.

They live in a small shack behind their family home, because they are not allowed into their hut.

The Fistula Hospital helps change their lives, when the only other option for these women seems like killing themselves.

You have to remember that their culture is much, much different than ours.

If their case in unable to be treated, the hospital helps them find a place to work, so that they don't have to return home and be a disgrace to their family.

I finally streamed the video last night on Netflix and watched it with my husband. It made me feel like I was back in Ethiopia again and it was SO wonderful...just peaking in on the beautiful and very kind people from there. And then knowing what these poor women are going through...it just broke my heart. I was almost crying through the whole thing.

I also busted up laughing at what one of the patients said as soon as she returned from the hospital to her home.

My husband said "That just proves all women around the world are the SAME."

What did she say? Basically "Look at this place! Why didn't he clean? Why didn't he sprinkle water on the dust?"

Joy and I walked to the hospital on one of the last days we were there. It was beautiful with flowers and gardens inside. There were many, many women there.

The song at the end (Amazing Grace) is sung in English by a nurse at the Fistula Hospital, and you can hear her beautiful Amharic accent.

I miss it.

Smack Talk at the grocery store

2010-10-20T16:50:00.002-05:00

So about once a week it will happen to be that one of my grocery store runs has me with all 4 children in tow. Usually the double-children buggies are all taken (I try not to internally growl at the people with one child who take these...SO not nice!) so I pop Lily in my hotsling, O in the cart, and the big boys walk along either side of it. It works, and these aren't ever big trips, it's just more of a quick run for half a dozen items or so and I can get checked-out at the express isle, or hop over to a lane that one of my acquaintances work in so that I can show the baby off.

So yesterday we made a quickie run and when we get to the check-out, this ~~lazy, overweight~~ lady immediately in front of me starts mouthing off to the cashier about the current state and size of my family. I immediately thought about Chrissy and her run-in that she recently had at the store.

Now, I *KNEW* this was going to happen, so it's not like it caught me off guard. This is what the social workers want you to be prepared for. In all honesty I'm surprised that it has taken 2 months for such a ~~village idiot~~ person to pop up. 99.9% of the interactions that we've had in public have been extremely positive, people telling me how GORGEOUS Lily is, how they know someone adopting from Ethiopia or wanting to know about it in general...it leaves lots of room to educate!

For instance, today at the Vet, the DVM saw her and then told me ALL about his 5 bio kids and the 2 African-American children that he and his wife had adopted domestically. I had no idea!

But anyway, back to the grocery store lady. I knew as soon as she started spewing the ignorant and careless words out of her mouth that I just had to ignore it. I had to ignore it or I would be f-u-m-i-n-g (at least I know my limits, right??) I did. I fought the urge and just totally ignored it. Instead, I turned and just started talking to my children, who were wanting to know about the Goosebumps book that was also for sale (who knew that Goosebumps was still around???). I finally heard her say something along the lines of:

"When they all get chicken pox at the same time, she's REALLY going to be in for it."

Seriously lady, am I DEAF? You are directly in front of me acting like I'm not here whatsoever.

More children do NOT equal a lower IQ. ~~In fact, mine is probably a lot higher than yours, because you sound pretty stupid.~~

That's when I just finally looked at her and glared at her. And I admit, I had a disgusted smirk on my face.

Oh, that's when she finally decided to talk TO me.

"You sure do have your hands full"

(actually, they were empty, because, like I said, Lily was in the sling and O was in the cart.)

so I pulled out my usual

"Better full than EMPTY."

But I admit...it did not come out quite so nice. And I didn't think very nice things about her either.

I did continue to try to throw in a line very quick as she decided to walk away about WHY we adopted.

Maybe she's less of an idiot today, but I doubt it.
~~I do secretly fear though, what if she's suffered from infertility and my reply made her go home and cry in her bedsheets?~~

And you know what, if we ever adopt again, I hope she's in front of me at the grocery store again.

And that she tells me instead, how pretty my children are and how well behaved they are.

Because they are.

That would be nice.

First Parade

2010-10-17T21:28:00.000-05:00

Lily got to attend her first ever parade...she loved ALL of it...except, however, for the loud fire engines and truck horns. That baby shook like a LEAF.

She does the same thing if she puts her hand under an automatic hand dryer in a public restroom.

*shake*shake*shake*

Her ENTIRE body.

Kinda funny!

Oh, and in case you didn't notice from that photo...somebody has earrings now! They're very pretty. She loves her pretty stuff. If she sees a lady wearing any bling, she points at it and wants it.

My friend Erin took some family shots of us the other day. She's been a BUSY lady but here's a sneak peek at a few of them (I can't wait to see the one of the kids together in their traditional Ethiopian clothing!!!)

pictures=half way to getting around to adoption announcements. :-P

P.S. You think getting THREE kids to look at a camera is hard? Four is RIDICULOUS!!!! So is the laundry. ;)

Missing Ethiopia

2010-10-12T20:55:00.001-05:00

I think about Ethiopia every. single. day. Each day that passes makes me want to return even more. I hope that several years from now I'll have the 4 kids thing down pat and maybe, maybe...maybe be able to bring another child home? I'm getting ahead of myself, I know. I am not a perfect person by any means, but being there had changed me so much for the better. I am much more content with what I have and try to not "want" more. I cherish the time with my babies more. I have have pudge on my body (not that I'm excited about that, but I never want for food.) We have so, so many blessings and when I find myself complaining I just try to think about the woman over there who must grow her own food, cook from scratch every day, doesn't own a clothes or dishwasher because she hand washes them and probably only has one set anyway, has to walk very far for clean water IF it's available, and has sickness and disease as a common part of the lives around her. I am thankful for learning so much from her. Seeing it on TV is one thing, being able to touch them is something different. I am so thankful that I was able to have this life changing experience.

And there are so many other children there who need homes. And people in general who need help. The country, her people and our Birth Family have a special (and large) piece of my heart which cannot be filled. I can't wait to go to Ethiopia again and breathe the air and hug the people.

Some rambling thoughts that I've written previously:

9/21/10

...I have been cleaning out my closet very slowly...plan to move on to other areas of the house soon. I have already done this once recently, but when you go to Africa for a week and a half and realize just how sickeningly wealthy all of us Americans are it makes you ashamed to even have an excess of anything...or to even go to Target to buy new shoes because the other ones look "worn out". I and others have quietly been mourning since we returned home...missing the simplicity of all we saw and the birth family we may never see again (I cry every time I think about that)...and feeling much more content with so many pleasures that we take for granted each day. I miss it and I cannot go back soon enough. My bum hurts every time I think about sitting on a plane that long though! ;)

I think everyone needs to go there at least once. Seriously.

9/25/10

We have been home 4 weeks today. We are a family of 6 and every meal I must recount the plates because it just looks wrong! It seems like she has been here forever, but I know it was just yesterday. We've waited so long and had her in our hearts all of this time that it seems like everything has just fallen right into place. I will definitely say that 4 kids seems like the absolute max I can handle (granted that next month they will be ages 1, 3, 5 and 7!) and either the dishes or the laundry is always lacking being finished. I get something done and something else is always waiting. Whew!

My friend Mary Beth went to ET a week before us. This was her 2nd adoption. She has been wrestling more than me and her family is now selling as much in their home as they can in hopes of buying and installing a well for a rural area in Ethiopia. She is even selling her wedding china. I've been talking with several of my friends about since we've been home I have just been dwelling on areas of how we can simplify our lives. I cleaned out most of what I don't need in my closet. I mean to go through the kitchen next. I should bake more (my husband would love that) but I don't, and there are just things in there that I have not touched in years, like, say, my bread maker. However I'm not ready to part with my wedding china just yet! I just hope Ethiopia stays in my heart as strong as it is now and that I can keep learning from what I saw there, and not ever wanting more. In all honesty I told Jeremy I wouldn't mind selling the house and moving into something older (but man I love my big yard!!!) and not as "nice" if we could get some more square footage/acreage in there somewhere for the extra chillins to run around. Either way, both of us want to go back at some point, but it will probably be years from now. When we were there I said I could never move and live like that...but after being back for 4 weeks I miss it terribly and would move there tomorrow if Jeremy asked me to...don't worry...he won't. :-D

When we go back it would be wonderful to go with another family who had been before. Our agency does "heritage tours" for some of the older program countries (China, Korea), so maybe years from now we can do that. Once Lily hits 18/21 they will also assist in helping us reconnect with her Birth Mother, if she is living (not a long life expectancy there...and she has already lost both of her parents already). One of the hardest things I am realizing with international adoption is unlike domestic adoption, you can't just up and find blood relatives for your child...they are on the other side of the world...where there is no 'facebook' or legal documentation of birth certificates(those are generated only for the purpose of court hearings in adoption) or familial generations/relatives and such. It leaves you with one end of a rope that you hope something may be on. I pray her birth mother will be healthy enough to live and receive our pictures that we can send, at that maybe one day we can let Lily meet her.

Anyway...a lot of moms think about their birth experience when their baby is born...I've been thinking about my trip to Ethiopia. I know it will get blurrier and dull as days go by, but right now I think about it every day.

Re-finalized in the State of Texas

2010-10-09T07:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we drove to San Antonio to "re-adopt" or "re-finalize" our adoption. See, our adoption already is final, but this is the formalization of getting the state of Texas to recognize our foreign adoption, and issue her a Texas Certificate of Birth...makes life easier down the road.

I knew it would be quick, but it was even quicker than that. It took longer to get a picture made then it did for him to make the ruling on the paperwork the lawyer submitted.

The reason we chose to drive to S.A. is because there was a highly recommended lawyer there whose fees are literally half of the ones in Dallas! We were gone allllllllllllllllllll day.

So what's next? No, we aren't 'finished' per se, but this was the last big, time consuming thing we had to do. Now we have to wait for her birth certificate to come in the mail, apply for a Social Security card, apply for a Certificate of Citizenship (hello, more money to the government...they are upping the fees by another $150 next month so I hope we can get it done before then), have a 3 and 6 month post placement report, and then send yearly reports to Ethiopia until she is 18.

Oh yeah, and try to get some photographs taken and send out adoption announcements :)

--

I would also like to give an update on the "woosha" status. We were told it would take 6 weeks before Lily would tolerate or be fond of our dog. Well, I am happy to report that as of week 5, she was HUGGING our dog Piper!! She also points to puppy dogs on pictures and calls them "Piper."

I'm so naming our next dog Woosha.

This is totally off topic, but while I'm talking about our dog I have to tell a funny story. Piper is an opinionated and moody Corgi. She thinks she is a person. Well, Jeremy just got back from a business trip with a bag full of samples, one of which was a dog chew bone. We gave it to Piper and she immediately took off for one of the boy's bedrooms. After about 5 minutes she came out and went to the other boy's bedroom. She came out about 3 minutes later sans dog bone. Jeremy and I got up to go see where on earth she hid it (there are a MILLION places in either one of those kid's rooms it could be...they aren't the cleanest). Well...she had pulled the pillow OFF of the lower bunk and put the bone INSIDE of the pillowcase!!!!! We were cracking up.

Green Card

2010-10-09T07:05:00.002-05:00

Lily got her green card last week!!

ANNNNND Lily got to meet her first Ethiopian-Texan, Bruke! He is a CUTIE!!! We'll get to see them about once a week, as we are now homeschooling our oldest and they are in the group that we are. :)

We also got a pic of allllllll the grandbabies on my side with the grandparents.

I've got the "Ethiopian Flu"

2010-10-03T20:37:00.000-05:00

So I've been hacking up my lung and on the verge of feeling another sinus infection coming along with asthma-like symptoms (wheezing, can't ever catch my breath). About a week after we got back from ET I got sick, never got better and had to go to the doc to get on some antibiotics for one of the nastiest sinus infections I've ever had. Then when I finished that round of meds I started getting sick again. Flu like symptoms...aches/fever/cough/head congestion/sore throat. Jeremy got it for a couple of days as well. Then it went away.

Then the other day I got sick AGAIN. I lost count...3, 4 times now?

*cough*

One of my online buddies has had the same problem. She stayed in the same room at the hotel as we did...then I wondered if it was because there had been some mold that we had seen on some of the curtains and around the window?

After asking around, I found out this is pretty normal, but I had not known it. I remember just how horribly my nose burnt from the thick pollution in Ethiopia the first few days I was there. It's some type of residual effect I guess. Others who have gone before me tell me to expect it to end after 2.5 months. One lady who is a runner said that it took her a couple of months before she could catch her breath while running. Others are saying they've had sinus infections over and over.

*cough*cough*

But at least I'm not the only one, and at least it's "normal."

We've been home for 5 weeks, so maybe I only have to put up with this another 3-5 more.

*cough*

First Hairdo

2010-09-27T20:25:00.001-05:00

Tonight after bathtime, we *attempted* our first ever 'do. Let me just say Lily was not a big fan of having me try to take that short little hair and pull it into little bands. She cried the entire time.

BUT...for a first time ever attempt, I'm happy with the results.

I know with lots of practice we (i.e. my parts) can get much better...especially after that hair grows out some more!

4 weeks!!

2010-09-26T21:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was 4 weeks that we have been home as a family of 6. WOW!! I still can't believe it's "only" been 4 weeks. It has gone by so fast but at the same time it seems like she's always been here. I still get confused every time I have to set out plates for mealtime...I recount them once or twice. Duh, mom! SIX

Our first post placement visit was almost 2 weeks ago. It went well and Lily crushed on our social worker a little bit. She says we're all pretty normal around here!

Lily is slowly and surely becoming friends with our dog, Piper. It started out that she would scream when she was near her. Then she would scream while she petted her. Then she would cry and pet her. Then she would just sneak up and pet her. Now she tolerates her while she's next to her and doesn't even look twice. Woop!

She is falling right in line with her 3 big brothers. It's nice for her to have older siblings to look up to and follow.

She is really picking up on her words. She says something new almost every other day. She will say "AMEN" with her hands folded when it's time to eat. She says Mama, Dada, bye-bye, baby (oh she LOVES her baby doll), eye, God, and lots and lots of babbling. We're still using the potty and she goes #1 at least 80% of the time. I *think* she is over her giardia (we finished her 2nd round of meds) so we're crossing our fingers on that one.

Some of the firsts that she's had since we've had her in our arms:
Her first concert (as was the boys...we all went to see Veggie Tales Live! man i loved that)
Cutting 3 molars.
First trip to Bass Pro (my husband said that HAD to go on her "firsts" list. *eye roll*)
Going to bible class by herself.
Trip to the kids club at the Y while momma got to work out.
Trip to the library.

I know there are so many more but now that I sit to write them down I can't remember! Ack!

She has definitely grown like a weed...she is already growing out of the 6 month clothes that we had her in 2 weeks ago. I could swear she's gotten 2 inches taller by how much her legs are hanging over the carseat now too. Her hair already looks longer as well. We will be going back to the dr soon so I hope to get her weighed and mayyyyyyybe at the 20 pound mark?

Tonight we found out that Lily LOVES Cheetos!!!! Oh man she just shoved them all into her hands and gnawed and gnawed on those things. I think we gave her 4, and she wasn't done with them until we were all up from dinner and she still had her sandwich to eat. Next time she is getting TWO. :)

And *drumroll please* we have set our COURT DATE for re-adopting her in the state of Texas!!! WOOP. Then she have her name legally changed from Worknesh Jeremy to Lily Workinesh. We can also get a state birth certificate for her and get social security cards and such.

When we were in ET we saw her name spelled 4 different ways. It was always pronounced Work - in -esh though. When we rename her we will be adding the "i" back into her name, which was omitted on the legal documents during translation. It was on all of her intake paperwork and that's how we all know her, plus the phonetics of it make it easier to just have it that way.

Somehow we have GOT to get some family photos made soon so that we can mail out announcements. My friend Mary Beth (who left 2 weeks before us for ET) mailed us their adoption announcement this last week. Lily got SO excited at the picture of Amenech!! She made me take it off of the fridge and give it to her, and she just babbled at it forever.

You don't feed black babies chocolate milk?

2010-09-21T21:44:00.003-05:00

I thought it helped with their complexion?

Nope...instead I loaded it up with Hershey's syrup so that I could sneak her medication, Flagyl into it. We have one more day to get through and usually I stick it in a syringe with some chocolate syrup, but tonight I got lazy. The pharmacist said this is literally the worst tasting medication that is out there. And trust me...if she even gets a taste of it she gags and throws up everywhere. It's happened a few times already.

Yes, as a dental hygienist of almost 10 years, I know this is an absolute DENTAL SIN!!! May the dental gods forgive me and may the giardia parasites all DIE!!!

WOOOOHOOOO!!!!

2010-09-17T08:43:00.000-05:00

SO many things to be thankful for. My friends Josh and Erin are PAPER PREGNANT!!!! They officially mailed their paperwork in to Lifetime and are hoping to adopt domestically. They've been at this for a year now and are all set up with an agency now. Now we're just praying that a Birth Mother will see them and know what SUPER awesome people they are as they decide on a forever family for their child.

My friend Joanna is leaving NEXT WEEK for Ethiopia for their "first trip" to meet their little girl and go to court. Our baby girls were roommates at the care center and she's in the area, so they can be buddies from now on!!! I can't wait until her 2nd trip so I can go up to the airport and meet them like she did for us. I have a feeling it won't be very long after her first trip. ;) ;)

My friend Heather, who also lives in the area, is adopting from Ethiopia through another agency. Heather is 6 months "older" in this process than we are. They are STILL waiting on their REFERRAL!!!!! And they've seen us apply, get our referral, travel and be BACK already. They have been sitting at #4 for a girl for months now. Will you please pray for this wonderful Christian family?? I can't wait until our girls can be friends!!!

Travel Journal Part VII : SHOPPING

2010-09-14T21:34:00.000-05:00

Wednesday 8/25 continued...

We eat a quick lunch and then we are off to shop. This is actually the first thing that the drivers show up early for (they're very relaxed in ET, and most of the time we were never in a rush to get anywhere.) Maybe they know how much American women like to shop?!?

What's funny is I'm having to totally rewrite this journal entry. I wrote 5 lines with my paper and pencil about the actual shopping part, but my husband said he had wished he knew more of what to expect on this "shopping excursion." I guess to all of us women shopping is shopping, so I asked him what more he would have liked to have known. I know...a man wanting to know about shopping...go ahead and laugh. :)

Ok, so here's what I originally had written about the actual shopping: The drivers take us to some little shop areas and we get some great souvenirs for Lily and our friends. I tried to buy something for each of her birthdays until she is 18.

So...hmm...what to expound on? The first shop they brought us to was great. They had a large assortment of items, all with fixed prices, and I was able to purchase a few traditional dresses for her, traditional outfits for each of my sons to wear (photo op!), some animal carvings, small baskets, jewelry, bracelets for friends, key chains and a couple of scarves. I spent about $2700 Birr at this shop (just over $200 USD) and am thrilled that I've already gotten half of what I wanted to bring home. The shop is just next to a bakery and it smells DELISH!!! One mom goes and buys a donut for her husband and I am wishing I would have gone in because the smell alone is making my mouth water terribly.

The shop is probably about 15x10 feet, crowded with 18 Americans in and out, all trying to load up on stuff.

There are more beggars here - an old woman is driven away from our car by a guard with a stick. She spits at him.

We drive to a strip with other shops.

An older boy comes up to J in the van door and asks if he wants "shoe shine?" No thanks, J says. "Brown polish?" No, thank you. Then he looks at us with this very. serious. grimace on his face and says "Ok-give-me-chocolate." The entire van of us busted up laughing. By this time we are all out of candies anyway so we have to send him on his way.

The first shop we enter is twice the size of most with plenty of room to walk around. Wow...the traditional outfits over HERE are HALF of what they were at the last shop. Oh well, there's no way I would have known. Honestly I think they were all about $20 USD anyway. I pick up a cloth doll for her ($60 Birr?), a tablecloth and napkin set to give her as a wedding present one day (assuming she marries...and I think that was around $250 Birr?), some more jewelry, a book about an Ethiopian boy and Jeremy buys a traditional coffee pot. He's determined to make coffee like this back in the states!

Some in our group walk a few shops on this strip. I purchase some small trinkets for friends back home...as many as I can. We brought over many clothing donations so we have lots of room in our suitcases to take things home. And they're super cheap and we're helping the economy, good enough reasons :) :)

We go to a coffee shop and purchase several bags of unground and ground coffee beans for ourselves (well, I mean Jeremy), friends and family. The shop keeper is VERY proud of his store and shows us an award which it just won from a European coffee group. It was a very lovely shop! The coffee was about $25 Birr for about 1 pound of ground, $50 Birr for a large unground. (great, now I'm picturing my friends all going and calculating how much money I actually spent on their gifts. :-P)

Outside many adults gathered and waited at the steps to beg, peddle posters of Africa or follow us to the van asking for food/money. VERY off topic, but this is where I saw my first (and only) b**b hanging out in plain day for someone to see. TMI I know, but most people ask anyway about if people are half naked. This particular woman had a child on the opposite hip that was breastfeeding age, but at the time was having nothing to do with it so she just had it out for whenever they were interested again I guess. Regardless, there obviously wasn't any shame in their culture for it being out for everyone to see, but it totally caught me off guard as an American. Speaking of which, even though it is a 3rd World Country here, people are happy. In Addis there are several who were dressed very nice and most wear western style clothing. Nobody here looks to be starving (yet they are obviously not pudgy) and while some still beg to us for food, this is nice to see. Somehow they are making it. There is a LOT of commerce here and almost everyone here is doing something. There are some handicapped persons begging among the city, which you do see.

I still wish I had brought more food to hand out. It's a tough spot to be in. If you hand out anything then they mob you (note the friend with a sack full of candy in our montage video.) But when you look out the window at a beautiful young child who is holding her hand up to her mouth and motioning for something to eat...you wish you could do so much. I will not ever forget the woman in Durame who fed her small baby the gum that I gave her.

Banana gum.

I gave the starving woman and her baby banana gum.

God have pity on me!

Many of us held out to try to do the bulk of our gift shopping at the Leper Hospital. It goes toward a good cause and we were told they had many items for inexpensive prices. We tried to get them to take us there first, like any good shopper would do, but they said we were going there last. Oh well. We get there and most of us were disappointed because we had *thought* there would be so much more. They did still have many things and we were able to buy many small handmade items there for gifts.

Several of us decide that we will hire a driver tomorrow afternoon and go out to do some more shopping. My friend Joy is the overachiever and has a huge christmas shopping list to do! Ack!

Lily didn't use the potty any today.

THURSDAY 8/25

Some families will leave today. This morning 4 of us ladies got Tsegaw to take us to do more shopping. It costs us about $15USD each to do this. We went to the 2nd place from yesterday, with all of the shops on a strip. Many are only about 8x12 or so. I buy some knives (40 Birr?), hats for the boys, drums for the boys, more trinkets for friends (you could find shops that had small drums, baskets, letter openers, and animal skin bookmarks all for about 5-10 Birr each), a t-shirt (65 Birr) and coffee. I had the hardest time finding the t-shirt I wanted in my size. It's true: if you SEE it and you WANT it, just get it THEN, because otherwise you may not later. I settle one one similar: green with the Lion of Judah on it. Thankfully the girls I was with were good sports as I hopped shop to shop and bartered with the guys (I got better on bartering the 2nd day....buy multiples and cut the price down for me, your buddy next door was cheaper!) I spend the last of my Birr on the coffee, trying to max out at the amount we are legally allowed to carry back in to the states. I have to borrow 1 Birr from Bethany. (Right before we leave ET I am cleaning out my money belt and discover I have $100 Birr left, about $7.50 USD, folded in half in the corner. Oops!)

Afterward Tsegaw takes us to a coffee shop and treats us to dessert and coffee (or tea). I get tea and this is the first time it tastes like the tea I had at the Et restaurant back in Texas....with cloves in it. I have drunk several cups of hot tea while we were here and I must say I enjoyed them all very much. Anyway, T-man is a great guy - he watched out for us and would bring our bags back to the van. As we walked around the town he would tell us about the history, culture and politics. If you're ever out and about in Ethiopia I would highly recommend him. :) We also see his photo from when he drove Brad and Angelina around a few months ago - really!

Yeah, my bottom sat in the same seat as Angelina and Brad.

I hope that's not where Joy picked up her ringworm. ;)

Happy Sunday!

2010-09-12T08:46:00.001-05:00

Sent from my iPhone

Post Placement Evaluation

2010-09-10T21:14:00.001-05:00

They say NOT to evaluate anything...ANYthing until you've been home for at least 6 months.

Welp, the social worker will be coming next week and we WILL be evaluating things. So I might as well mull them over in my brain to see how we think things are going so far.

We've been really happy with how well everybody is doing. Lily has attached to us much quicker and is much more affectionate toward her daddy and I than we would have guessed she would be. Her eye contact is great, but my "international adoption" book says ohhhhhh watch out, just if they act like they're attached to you they really AREN'T and are going to GET YOU somehow. Hmm..ok it doesn't say it in those words exactly, but that's what they imply. However, at the MOMENT we are a happy little family. :) :) Having 3 big brothers sure has been great for her. In 2 weeks alone she has learned to fold her own hands for prayer time without mommy or daddy holding them for her (and subsequent screaming) and she'll even say 'amen.'

We've been able to maintain a normal routine. Even though it's been filled with school, piano lessons, doctor's visits and we're on the go all of the time, everything has been pretty much "normal" around here. And I have to admit I'm MUCH less stressed now than when I was waiting for all of this to finally happen! 4 is just like 3, which was just like 2...just more of the same: "momma, momma!"

So anyway, not evaluating anything. But if we were, I would give it a 9 on a scale of 1-10.

Pets: we know this takes usually about 6 weeks to get over, but Lily is extremely freaked out by the dog. She has her moments of wanting to pet her, and we're following the "advice" that "they" give on working through this. I think it will be fine eventually. She'll be shaking and screaming one second, then the next she'll turn around and want to pet her. It doesn't help that Piper has poor manners and knocked Lil' over by bumping her backside as she passed behind her.

Sleep: going great. She will go to sleep in about 5 minutes or less, with me only having to remind her 1-2 times to lay down. However she's not been napping well today and I'm pretty sure that's mostly due to all of the shots she had yesterday.

Food: Today was our first ever"big fight" and it was about food. She didn't want to eat or drink ANYthing. The fact that I needed to sneak her antibiotics into something wasn't helping either. One day she will love one item (bananas/sweet potato/avocado "juice"/rice/chicken) and the next want nothing to do with it, or vice versa. I called my friend Sylvia who's an experienced foster parent and...huge bonus...a dietitian. Got great advice on that!

Yesterday we went to the pediatrician's office to catch up on *all* bloodwork/vaccines/etc. and begin a huge series of ...."samples." It was NOT a fun day...for her OR me. I was definitely feeling like I needed the "bad mom of the year" award and I'm glad that's all over. They know us by name up there now. They never have even though I've been going up there for almost 7 years with 3 kids. It could be all of the screaming she did, or the big bows they compliment her on, or the fact that I'm a white lady carrying a cute little black girl. Hmm...not sure.

Anyway, 9 out of 10. Not that I'm evaluating this early or anything. ;)

Pictures?

2010-09-07T14:00:00.000-05:00

This girl does NOT like to sit away from her mama to have her pictures taken. She is literally like a faucet and can turn the tears on and off with the wink of an eye. BUT...breakthrough...today I actually heard her say "cheese" when I was snapping one with my phone...hurrah!!! Her littlest big brother LOVES to have his pictures taken, so she has a great example to learn from.

We also went to the park for the first time. The toddler swing freaked her out. She did seem to enjoy staying in the sling and swinging with mama on a big swing as well as playing with rocks.

She's not fond of the great outdoors yet. She's been cooped up inside while she was in Ethiopia, so we're easing into it. Being out on the hot (actually it was almost "cool" in the low 90s...) Texas driveway with sidewalk chalk seemed to be a method of torture for her. Even with the bubbles that we were all blowing.

Cousin Titus came over to play for a few minutes today. He weighs 16 pounds...hmmm...I'm starting to wonder if she's the 16.5 she is supposed to be. We have a checkup tomorrow and I've been gathering stool samples for that. I know, FUN stuff!!!

Travel Journal Part VI

2010-09-06T20:24:00.001-05:00

Tue 8/24

Today is our appointment at the US embassy to receive clearance to travel with our daughter back to the US. We take it easy that morning and then leave a little while after noon. This is a nicer side of Addis that we drove through - the presidential palace, a private park with 2 guards, clean and upkept sidewalks, etc. It is much nicer than all of the rest of town that we've seen. We also drive by the Sheraton hotel. Wow... Gated, huge and looks so nice right about now.

We arrive at the embassy and park off of an alley. Crossing the street we walk up to tan outside pavillion where several other people are sitting. 80% of them are Americans with an Ethiopian child. We are all here for the same reason. It is very exciting and you can just feel it in the air. We take turns, 2 families at a time, entering the building to go through security. A metal detector. Then we have our bags scanned. the workers don't speak good english. My bag shows something and all she seems to be able to ask is "ipod? Batteries?" over and over to each of us who happen to cause it to go off. I had batteries. They go in her cubby - no electronics whatsoever are allowed in.

We walk through an open area to another building with a waiting area, with a play area for the kids. Armed Forces TV - my husband already feels at home. We meet families from other agencies and all wait about an hour or so before any of our names are called. The speaker sounds like an adult on a Peanuts cartoon and we rely on our agency's worker to come downstairs to get us if we are called. We finally go upstairs into a room with about 8 window tellers. The lady is very nice and asks us questions to confirm all of our paperwork (birth certificate, adoption decree, passport for Lily, etc.) Then she stamsps it and gives it to us and we go downstairs. Each time one of our families came back all of the rest of them cheered. :)

I had to go to the restroom and took LW with me. What was I thinking? I'm in a US embassy and expect them of all people to have toilet paper. Of course not. I make another trip (I'm surprised by how many places around here actually did have toilet paper though, not all, but some). LW goes. Oh yeah!

All but 2 families are done and we wait. They finally come down crying. Let me back track. Both of their daughters have the same first name and are the same age. This also caused a mix up at the welcome ceremony...anyway...Well...Ethiopian immigration had switched the photos on their passports. So they cannot get their visa approval.

We all offer our prayers and assurance it will work out. (NOTE: our agency's staff was all over this and went the next day to Et immigration and had them make new passports stat. They were able to get their visa clearance with everyone else that Thursday.)

We go back to the cars (in the alley) and there are beggars, but this time they are young men as tall as me and older than beggars we usually see, making me extremely nervous. They are right up in the van door while we are trying to get in and out and I finally wave my hand from behind the window telling them to go. My husband says to stop so I ignore them and just look down even though they are staring at me and tapping on the window right next to my face. This was one of the only times I was scared when I was there. Up until this point we had only had women and children begging, not men who seemed very pushy and wanted cash. Maybe I was just paranoid. I had just assumed we wouldn't experience anything "around" the US embassy, but the cars have to park a certain distance from it and there is no secure parking.

That night when I took of LW's bow and shoes she threw a fit. Already a diva, oh brother. Tonight she actually sleeps on the twin bed in our room.

Wednesday

Today is the farewell ceremony. The 2 girls with the passport mishaps are at immigration. We delay the ceremony until they arrive with good news for the parents: they're fixed! All cheer and tears start flowing. Prayers have been answered.

The nannies make popcorn and a coffee ceremony. Cakes are delivered along with sodas.

The nannies take each of the children and dress them in traditional garb. They return and are all so sweet!! One parent is unable to addend. TMI: since returning from Durame, several have been vomiting, had diarrhea, horrible cramping or just plain not feeling well. Who knows what kind of funk we were exposed to, plus all of us have had our immune systems beat from the stress of the entire experience.

The adults sing some songs, the 2 older adoptees sing some songs. So much fun. Sister Marth has a father read the story of Moses from the Bible and offer words and a prayer. It is truly evident that they are so loved by the staff at the care center and they know what a huge blessing from God they are. It is wonderful to be a part of these lives that are all changing. They were all birthed into our families then and it felt as if they were truly ours.

The families take turns cutting the cake with their children. LW is asleep and I try to wake her (very hard to do!) and she wails as we cut it. Ah, well :) Each of the children are to put their finger in it and lick it, and I force hers but that makes her mad. Back to sleep she goes the entire time

(SIDE NOTE: I got a health update while we were IN Et that the nannies rocked her to sleep every night and she never fell asleep before midnight, and always took longer to fall asleep than her peers. This makes me believe she probably wasn't taking her scheduled afternoon nap, because every time we got her and I rocked her she zonked right out and slept so heavily!!!)

We leave the children there as we will be taken on a shopping excursion that afternoon. Those of us who were already parents had a much easier time doing that. :) :)

---------
a quick shot from my iphone this past Sunday morning:

Adoption Montage Video

2010-09-04T19:28:00.002-05:00

Cheesy, sappy, call it what you may, here's our montage. Enjoy. :)

Around the House (a week gone by)

2010-09-03T17:31:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow we will have been home for a week.

Wow!

Here's a short little video of my 2 youngest ones on DAY 3 HOME:
(I took it on my iphone so it's not the best)

Evidently she LOVES music and breaks into song when her biggest brother starts on the piano, and even did Wednesday night at the end of church.

So far I have got to say things are going SUPER. I hope I don't jinx myself, but I was expecting FAR worse. Maybe it's because this is my 4th kiddo and it doesn't phase me, I don't know, but things are just pretty smooth sailing around here for the most part. SO far. ;)

Oh don't think she's hasn't had trouble adjusting or we haven't had our moments trying to figure her out. She was not fond of going to sleep on her own as I have written reports that state the nannies rocked her every night and she wouldn't fall asleep until after midnight. But we've worked through that and she's been a real trooper. Lately she has been going to sleep in about 5 minutes in her own crib. YEAH!!!

She's also thrown some fits, but she's doing a lot better. Basically they aren't ever told no, so she gets frustrated when she can't do what she pleases (or if I put her down). Like right now I told her not to touch the computer mouse and she gives me a fake cry. Oh she can turn the tears on just like the best of them, but she'll get over it in 2 seconds. Today for the first time she's a little more adventurous running around the house to explore. BUT her preferred spot is still for me to hold her. She loves to be loved on. She will give us kisses and kisses and loves snuggles.

I was also digging that she's been introduced to the potty, but that's hit or miss. The only reason I'm keeping it up is because my almost 3 year old still isn't potty trained so it's good to do it as a group effort.

She's also eating great. She didn't eat ET food very well for us while we were there, so she's gone straight into our regular food and she eats almost everything. Yesterday and today she didn't want her bottles.

In all honesty, the hardest thing around here is that my youngest son is having a very hard time not being the baby anymore. When we got home he kept saying "I miss you mommy. You home on airplane?" and he wants me to do absolutely everything for him and pick him up constantly. After carrying around a 16 pound baby it feels like he's going to break my back. I've tried babying him some and I admit, I even bought him a toy at Target today on a whim (we were getting some GIRL toys since we didn't have ANY and she was playing with a Ninja Turtle) .Today he started approaching her and trying to get her to play peek a boo with him.

Earlier this week we had a write up about us in the local newspaper. Part of it was on the front page. Oh my! Well if anything maybe it'll spark some interest in some locals and we can get more than 4 ET kids in our county. ;)

I'm almost finished with our video montage of our trip to Ethiopia. After I get that done I hope to just upload tons of photos...I have about 700 shots/video clips that I took...eek!!!

Next week we visit the IA ped. I'm 100% sure she has giardia and we need to get that fixed here asap.

Travel Journal Part V

2010-08-31T21:27:00.000-05:00

Sunday continued..

(below are the few negative comments about our stay. Please be advised that they only concern our hotel, and if you can't get past that and want to accuse me as an ENTIRE Ethiopian experience hater then you can stop reading and go on your merry way.) ;)

We returned back to our hotel in Durame. We were warned that it would be like indoor camping. It was worse – it was like sleeping in the seediest hotel that you can imagine, but inside a garbage dump. In the restaurant part they didn’t even wipe the tables of sweep the floor. I mean I’ve seen the slum here, but this was just plain disgusting. It makes our room back in Addis look like the Hilton. The water didn’t work (wasn't really surprised about that), sewer smells filled the “bathroom.”(I forgot to bring the duct tape for the vent) I’ve been told there was a rat, the bed literally felt like a piece of plywood and just touching it made me feel grimy. I know I sound like a spoiled American but this place was just gross. We sprayed the bed (and ourselves) down with bug spray. That night I wore the bandana over my hair and slept fully clothed, with the covers down, flat on my back. Eventually I pulled out a t-shirt and put it over the pillow so that I could turn my head. It got cold so we eventually gagged our way through pulling up the covers. I tried not to think about it . They actually did have toilet paper for us, but it was covered with dirt. There was a bucket of water to flush the toilet with, but the toilet still didn’t want to flush, so it contributed to the gaggy factor. A family who has been there before said she saw them remake the beds between guests and they don't change the sheets. Others have had great experiences there. I suppose it just depends on what week you are there, and we were there on a definite off week. It still felt a bit like camping in that the door handle/lock had been taken off and another put back on, leaving a gap, and the glass above the door was busted out. I didn't feel like I needed to stay safe from anything, but those two things just made the safety factor go out the window anyway (no pun intended). You will definitely feel exposed and primitive as if you're camping, but it was just dirty. Jeremy wouldn't even brush his teeth in the bathroom sink but did it off of the balcony instead. We would have rather slept in a tent the entire week than to stay one night there. :( :(

OK now ON to other stuff!!!

Oh, off topic, I forgot to mention on our drive down that morning we passed hundreds of people walking along the street all dressed in white on their way to church. We also see many mosques along the way.

There was a car horn going steady at about 3am. I think we were all ready to declare jihad on it at that point.

We did decide to venture out and do some walking that evening before we went to bed. This was a first and the children really crowded around us. One guy went and bought 40 Birr worth of candy and handed it out. We got that on camera as it was a total hoot to see the kids mob him. We just waited to see him go down. We heard the kids say “white people” and I pointed to the 2^nd group of us who had just come out, farther up the street. I said “LOOK! MORE white people!” and the kids just all took off after them. Hilarious. We definitely stuck out everywhere we went and had all eyes on us. 2 of us girls walked to a store with scarves and skirts (imported) and everyone laughed at our husbands for going up to it. We did purchase 2 Amharic cds and our friends bought an Amharic bible workbook. We hope to find a bible somewhere. If we went into a store people tended to crowd all around outside and inside of it. That must be what it’s like to feel like a celebrity.

Monday:

There was more begging here and a man kept the kids away from the hotel steps and car doors. When the children didn’t mind him he would hit them to get them to leave. You can tell there is some pride here as well. I felt so bad for the one woman with a baby that I gave her the gum which I had just purchased from a child for an overpriced amount. I saw her feed the gum to the baby.

We toured the health center which our agency helps suppot. These are few and far between and they are hoping to build a $5million (US) hospital here. Doctors can only work where the government lets them, there are so few of them, and all are at hospitals but they are able to have one here. It looks primitive but they do have an ultrasound machine and I saw an autoclave. The delivery room was something else. Simple beds with staining on them.

On the way home the drive was just as crazy. But by then we weren’t freaking out anymore. This time however we were stopped by local government officials asking our drivers for papers and it made me slightly nervous. I had no idea this would happen. There are various “roadblocks” (a tree pulled down partially with a rope, to pull down all the way as a method to stop traffic) for commercial reasons. I think they have to pay a duty as they bring their supplies through. There are so many people out and most are with a wagon, a bag or an armful (or bunches) of plants (banana, green bushes, straw.)

People walk hand in hand and arm in arm around here because of their friendship. It is very common to see 2 men walking down the road holding hands. Our agency worker made sure we knew it was nothing homosexual about it as that is not accepted in the society here.

Everyone here has a cell phone. They even sell them in rural Et. ;)

One thing that is interesting is the people in Addis have wavy or straight smooth hair, with a reddish (more of a middle eastern look) tint to their skin and not what you would traditionally think of as an African look. When we go down south to Durame they have a medium black tone to their skin and have what I recognize as the usual African-American hair that I’m used to seeing that is more coarse an curly.

The huts are surrounded by banana like trees. There are many many bananas sold at the markets.

Before we arrive back at our hotel we stop by a grocery. It is like a small 2 story grocery/Walgreens. I like it because the prices are fixed. We buy bananas, bread, mango juice and formula for Lily. She doesn’t like the mango juice.

At 5 we visit the care center and talk to Sister Martha about the kids. We find out W has ringworm (not a skin rash like the pediatrician had said) and that they do sit them on the potty in her room.

At 6:30 we are all allowed to bring our children back to the hotel with us! It is dinner time and we feed LW – she eats some baby cereal, a little bread (she spends more time crumbling it and making a mess of the floor) some mango juice with water and then she chows down on an entire banana. We put some of the juice in the cereal and she hates it. That night I give her a bottle and she drinks a little over half of it. She doesn’t like eating on her own and prefers to be fed. Later on I discover that I have an Ethiopian kid on my hands that doesn’t even like injera. What? At the care center they use open cups but since we will use a sippy at the embassy tomorrow or on the plane I try these. She does well and then does not want an open cup at all. I do find out the next day that she prefers open cups filled with guacamole juice and not much of sippy cups with water.

We borrow a baby tub (we have a huge “shower room” contraption which won’t work to bathe a baby) to bathe her in the middle of the room. This is very scary for her and she cries loudly (which still sounds so pitiful) until we begin to rinse her using a cup. She likes that. Everyone has said that when we have poured the water over their head and some goes in their face that they did not flinch at all. Our children at home would have be wailing about water in their face. This must be how the nannies bathed them. I slather her with lotion (which turned out to be body wash, oops) and put a conditioner in her hair – I comb it and it goes through so gently. I did not expect that at all!

We put on the smallest pj’s I have. She is much more petite than I expected. We read a book, say a prayer (she wailed when I held her hands together) and then lay down in bed. She wails so pitifully. She is so scared. I lay her on my chest and pat her. She falls asleep this way and we put her between us. She sleeps the entire night.

We are home!!!

2010-08-29T17:44:00.000-05:00

We interrupt these travel journal (copy/paste) entries to bring you photos. Ok, well not real actual photos, just a collage that I am stealing from my friend Joanna. HA! ;)

Lily barfed all over the van on the way to the airport. Then she did great on the flight to Frankfurt, and screamed the last 20 minutes. There were 9 babies leaving Et on that flight. I think that one was somewhere just over 6 hours long.

We had a 4 hour layover in Frankfurt and then our 10 hour flight to Dallas. We were able to switch with a guy to get bulkhead seats and a BASSINET. HOW wonderful!!!! She did great.

Once at the airport it took us 2 hours to get through immigration. Then I finally got to hug my boys again. Oh how I missed them all.

She threw up again in the car on the way home. Oops. Evidently she's not good with car motion.

The newspaper lady called, I've been mentally out of it, but she'll be coming over here sometime to do a write-up in our local paper about it. If we can convince just one other person to go to Et and give a home to a baby, then I'll be happy. That's why I've been so open on this blog and shared some information that I know others chose not to (Birth Parent meeting). I want to be totally honest about all of this, and show people that it CAN be done and that it's a wonderful thing.

We zonked out last night. I think I'm mostly non-jet-laggy, just extremely mentally exhausted. We were able to make it to church this morning. Oh my little girl looked gorgeous.

Pictures eventually....

;)